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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27029302">Magic of Another Kind</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ironmermaidens/pseuds/ironmermaidens'>ironmermaidens</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Artemis Fowl - Eoin Colfer, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Crossover, Gen</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 17:20:50</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>24,678</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27029302</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ironmermaidens/pseuds/ironmermaidens</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>When Artemis Fowl II left Limbo he left with more than just his stolen fairy magic. Shortly after returning home he's sent on a new adventure, to a world where humans have magic of their own, and a war is brewing. </p><p>The magic he stole awoke something within him. A latent magic of his own. An invitation to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry gives him an in to this new world. The only thing standing between this new world of magic and the People may very well be Artemis. After years fighting alongside Captain Holly Short, Foaly, and his fairy friends, he's more than willing to act the scout, and determine just how much danger these magic humans and their secret conflicts pose.</p><p>He just wishes there wasn't so much schoolyard drama involved in the job.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>110</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>As of posting, I have six chapters of this story complete. I started working on it a couple years ago and originally intended to finish writing it before sharing it publicly, but I lost passion and with JK Rowling going full TERF recently I have some reservations about continuing. Maybe one day. But I'd hate for the work I already put into the story to go to waste, so here's what I have so far. If you're reading this and there's more than six chapters, I guess that answers the question of if I ever decided to keep writing or not! c:</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Artemis Fowl was missing. And then, nearly two years later, he was not. There was a lot of publicity surrounding his disappearance and return. The official story, the one told by the press, was that Artemis had been kidnapped by a gang member under the direction of the criminal Billy Kong after Artemis and his bodyguard, Butler, foiled his plot to kidnap the child of a well-to-do French family. Artemis managed to escape after almost two years imprisoned, barely, and somehow made it all the way back to Ireland on his own, where he ran into his old bodyguard by happenstance. The fact that young Artemis, now nearly sixteen years old, still looked fourteen was chalked up to neglect and hardship. After a few weeks of constant media attention, the story became old news, and Artemis drifted out of the spotlight. </span>
</p><p>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Of course the unofficial story, that is to say the truth, was significantly more interesting than the official story and certainly would have continued to create buzz for months, if not years, had Artemis been able to prove it. Alas, short of convincing his fairy friends to personally drop by the press interviews, no one would even begin to believe the fantastical tale that Artemis Fowl the Second, alongside two demon warlocks and an elf, was sucked into a time tunnel to an island trapped in Limbo where he had to harness stolen fairy magic to return the island and all its inhabitants to Earth, and that it was just an accident that he returned two years later than he’d left, causing him to appear unaged compared to a world that continued on without him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Lucky for Artemis, he was quite pleased to have the world move onto its next big story. The life he had returned to was very different from that which he had left, and he needed time to adjust. He was an older brother now. Two younger brothers, twins, Miles and Beckett. They were a handful and for Artemis, who was used to being an only child in the company of adults, they left him flustered and frustrated with embarrassing regularity. Worse still, the twins had the uncanny ability to know that they left him in this state, despite how practiced he was at schooling his features into a mask of indifference, and would tease him relentlessly about it. It was during one of those moments a few short months after his return that Artemis discovered something strange about himself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>The twins had broken into his study, and not for the first time. This time, though, they had found some of his notes and saw fit to scribble on them, ruining years of research and technological blueprints. All the frustration Artemis had bottled up since the two children entered his life reached a boiling point then. He clenched his fists tightly at his sides, but before he had a chance to breathe deep and center himself, as he often did before lecturing his brothers, the pendant light overhead exploded, raining glass down on the toddlers. Artemis took half a second for his eyes to widen in surprise before he quickly ushered them from the room, checking for injuries. After he’d confirmed they were unharmed and sent them off to play somewhere else, he returned to examine the damage.</span>
</p><p>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Artemis had the distinct feeling that he had caused this destruction. If he were anyone else, he would have written the notion off immediately as some kind of fairytale, but Artemis knew better. Fairytales were very much real. Magic was possible. He himself had done it. Except destroying lighting fixtures was not typically part of the fairy repertoire. This was magic, no doubt about it, but it was something else. Something he wasn’t familiar with. He filed the information away to be studied later. For now, he had quite the mess to clean up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>The unexpected magical outburst was not Artemis’s last surprise for the day. After he had disposed of the glass and salvaged what research he could, he left his study to find that he had received mail. This in itself was not unusual. He received mail on the regular. However, normally it was not delivered to his bedroom window via owl. He approached the window slowly, cautiously, and reached out to open the latch, allowing the eagle owl entrance into his room. As it hopped closer, he hooted at it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“What are you doing here in the daylight?” his hoot asked, and the large bird cocked its head at him, surprised that he spoke owl. Not many humans had the gift of tongues, after all.</span>
</p><p>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Delivering a letter from Hogwarts. That’s my job.” the owl hooted back, sticking its leg out to Artemis.</span>
</p><p>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Artemis raised a brow as he untied the envelope from the owl’s leg, running a thumb over the wax seal crest holding it shut. On the back of the envelope it read:</span>
</p><p>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Artemis Fowl II</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>The Last Bedroom On The Right</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Fowl Manor</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Dublin, Ireland</span>
</p><p>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Hogwarts?” he asked as he wiggled a finger until the flap, breaking the seal. Very unlike him, opening suspicious mail without running it past Butler first. It would be an unusual assassination attempt, if that’s what this was— granted he had more dealings in the unusual these days than the ordinary.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry,” the owl replied, squinting at him. “You’re older than most I deliver to.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dear Mr. Fowl, the letter read. We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment. </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Term begins on 1 September. My fifteenth birthday, thought Artemis. Or sixteenth, depending on who was counting. Due to your unusual circumstances, we await your owl by no later than 6 July, one week from today.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is this real? Or someone’s idea of a prank?” Artemis wondered aloud. Certainly not his brothers’, they weren’t old enough for this level of planning and execution. Perhaps Minerva Paradizo was behind it. But no, the letter was signed by a deputy headmistress Minerva McGonagall. That would be too obvious. </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh it’s real, human,” the owl responded, and Artemis realized he was still speaking in hoots. “You’re a wizard. I thought the fact that you speak owl would have been proof enough, but I suppose some humans are a bit denser than others.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Artemis glared. “I am well aware of magic, owl-”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Celeste. My name is Celeste.” the owl interrupted.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Very well. Celeste. I am well aware of magic, but I didn’t know it was something other humans had. I thought that… I was unique in that regard.” Artemis flushed a bit as he finished his sentence, realizing how childish he must sound to an owl who had clearly been doing this job for some time. Indeed, the next hoots from Celeste were unmistakably those of laughter. </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re far from the only human with magic.” Then she cocked her head again. “Though I will admit, you’re the first I’ve met that knows how to speak owl.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Artemis smiled. “The gift of tongues.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fairy magic!” Celeste hooted. “But you are a human, aren’t you?”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I suppose I am unique after all,” Artemis said, then furrowed his brow thoughtfully. “I need to make a call. Would you mind staying here for a bit longer? I will know my response to this invitation before it’s dark.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Celeste hopped back to the window sill, peeking out at the sprawling grounds of Fowl Manor. “May I hunt on your property? I could use a good meal. It’s not easy work to fly across the Irish Sea.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Feel free,” he responded. “My name is Artemis Fowl, by the way.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you, Artemis Fowl. I’ll return at dusk to retrieve your response.” And with that, Celeste hopped out of the window, spreading her wings wide and flying off in search of a tasty meal.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With Celeste gone, Artemis set to work, twisting his ostentatious ring around to face his palm. The ring was more than just gaudy jewelry, it was a fairy omnisensor that allowed him to communicate with his friends below ground. He held his hand up to his face, pinky and thumb extended in a child’s imitation of a phone. The omnisensor would do the rest. After a few seconds a voice spoke from his thumb.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Artemis?” His elf friend, Holly Short, said. “Calling so soon after our last conversation? You aren’t calling to complain about the twins again, are you?”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Artemis frowned. “I don’t complain.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Holly snorted. “Sure, of course not. That’s my bad. So if you aren’t calling to not complain, what are you calling about? You aren’t finding more trouble, I hope.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m afraid that this time, trouble may have found me. Do you know anything about Hogwarts?”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You called to ask about pig skin conditions?” Holly sounded unimpressed. </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s a human school,” Artemis explained, ignoring Holly’s incredulation. “A school of witchcraft and wizardry.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was a beat of silence. Then, “If this is supposed to be a joke, Artemis, it’s not very funny.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I agree. I received an invitation to attended the school just moments ago. A letter sent via messenger owl. And the owl sounded quite sure it wasn’t a prank.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Artemis pursed his lips, prepared for Holly’s reaction. He hadn’t exactly been honest with her about how much magic he had after the events on Hybras.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wait a moment, you were invited to attend a magic school? You spoke to the owl? I thought you said you didn’t have any magic left.” He expected the tone that Holly took, but it still left him feeling sheepish.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I may have exaggerated a bit.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A bit!” Holly scoffed. “I’ll say! And now you’re telling me there’s a human school for magic?”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Celeste, the owl, said that I’m far from the only human with magic.” Artemis said.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s impossible. Humans haven’t had magic for millennia. I think we would have noticed if a bunch of Mud Men were up there performing magic willy nilly.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’ve cloaked yourselves from humanity for just as long. Isn’t it possible that magical humans might have blocked fairies the same way?”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Holly didn’t respond.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can you get Foaly and Wing Commander Vinyáya on this line? I think they may want to hear what I have to say.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Holly agreed, and within minutes had opened the communication to the Commander and the centaur Foaly, who took the news much worse than Holly did.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There’s absolutely no way that humans could circumvent my surveillance,” he said, stomping his hooves in frustration. “I have scopes on every satellite in the sky, scanning for magical signatures. If there’s an entire school full of magic users, my readings should be blowing up.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Human magic is not the same as fairy magic,” Artemis argued. “And fairies haven’t encountered it in as long as humans have been assumed to be magicless.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How do you know it’s different?” Holly asked.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Artemis was reluctant to say, but after a moment he admitted to his emotional outburst and the resulting destruction it caused, explaining how it felt different from when he had used fairy magic.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“None of this means I shouldn’t be able to scan for human magic, you know.” Foaly said, somewhat testily. He hated the implication that humans had outsmarted him. It was bad enough when Artemis was the only one, but now there was potentially a whole society of them too. </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Your readings aren’t calibrated to recognize human magic, Foaly,” Artemis said. “And this is the first even I’ve heard of humans having magic, so obviously they’re hiding from the entire world, not just you.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Foaly whinnied in frustration. “…As much as I hate to say it, you make a fair point, Mud Boy.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course I do,” replied Artemis, sounding as smug as always. “But this still raises a few questions.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Like who these magic humans are, and how many of them there are,” Holly said.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And if they pose a threat to the People,” spoke Commander Vinyáya for the first time since being called to this meeting, sounding grim.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I have an idea of how we can find out,” said Artemis.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, Artemis, no, you can’t. If they’re dangerous-”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It wouldn’t be the first dangerous situation I’ve found myself in. I’m the perfect candidate. I already have an invitation in.” Artemis was not, strictly speaking, a fairy, but he did have fairy magic flowing through his veins, and as such he found that entering human buildings without invitation left him feeling dizzy and nauseated. </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>No one spoke for a long moment. Then the commander cleared her throat. “You understand what you’re signing up for then, Mud Boy?”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A chance to learn human magic, for one thing, thought Artemis. And to do more good helping the fairy People, which he found himself valuing more and more. Out loud, he simply said, “I do.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then there isn’t anything we can do to stop you,” Vinyáya said. “The best thing we can do is try to prepare you in case things go south.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I have to reply to this letter within the week. I have unusual circumstances, apparently. I imagine that some sort of representative will want to introduce me to the school and their magic culture.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t like this, Artemis,” Holly grumbled, knowing there wasn’t anything she could do to stop him. </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know,” Artemis replied softly. “I’ll keep in touch and out of trouble. As much as I can.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Foaly laughed. “That’s about as reassuring as seeing a dwarf’s rear ended pointed in your direction.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you for the vote of confidence, Foaly,” Artemis said, although he smiled as he did. </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No problem, Mud Boy,” Foaly said. “Now if you need any help, don’t hesitate to call. I was starting to get bored without anything to threaten fairy society as we know it.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I won’t,” replied Artemis, and then said his goodbyes before ending the call, twisting his ring back around on his finger. The sun was beginning to set now, and he had a letter to compose.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Grabbing pen and paper, Artemis wrote a succinct message in reply. It read:</span>
  <span><br/>
<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Dear Deputy Headmistress McGonagall,</span>
    <span><br/>
<br/>
</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I am intrigued by your offer, and will accept on the condition that you prove to me that this is no prank.</span>
    <span><br/>
<br/>
</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Yours sincerely,</span>
    <span><br/>
</span>
    <span>Artemis Fowl II  </span>
  </em>
  <span><br/>
<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Excellent, thought Artemis. Now all he had left was to send the message and wait. At that moment Celeste returned, swooping in through the open window and landing beside him on the desk.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The rabbits here taste better than any I’ve had before. How do you do it? Are you feeding them something?” she said.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Artemis smiled. “We endeavor to keep the grounds free from pollution. It sounds as if our efforts have paid off.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll say,” the owl agreed, then looked down at the paper in front of him. “Is that your reply there?”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It is,” Artemis confirmed, rolling the paper up and tying it closed. Celeste automatically stuck her leg out for him to attach the letter, which he did. “And you will return this to Hogwarts, then?”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s right, human. Straight back to the deputy headmistress. It shouldn’t take more than a day with my powerful wings, and those delicious rabbits filling my belly.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you sure they won’t weigh you down?” Artemis said wryly. Celeste narrowed her eyes at him.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You didn’t strike me as the joking type. You really are full of surprises, Artemis Fowl.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So I’ve been told. Will I see you again, Celeste?”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If you decide to attend Hogwarts.” And with that, Celeste flapped back over to the window and swooped out into the twilit sky.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Artemis watched her form retreat until it disappeared beyond the oak trees surrounding the manor, then went down to find Butler and his parents. They would all be interested to learn about the offer. Butler, he expected, would not be happy that Artemis was looking for more trouble, and his mother would be upset he was thinking about a boarding school outside of the country. His father… He would probably be supportive of whatever decision Artemis made. Hopefully he received a response quickly, something to set everyone’s mind at ease.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Artemis did not expect that the response would come in the form of a woman at the front door the next day, wearing black robes and a pointed hat.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Butler was the first to the door at the ring of the doorbell, alert to any possibility of an attack. When he determined that this was not some sort of ambush, he let the strange woman into the manor, and would have insisted on patting her down for weapons if Angeline Fowl hadn’t come to greet their guest before he had the chance. Artemis, who had not expected such an expedient response, was upstairs in his study when his mother called him down to meet deputy headmistress Minerva McGonagall herself. </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Professor McGonagall introduced herself, and Artemis introduced himself in turn, offering his hand to her as he did. As soon as their hands broke contact, he said. “Right. A demonstration, then.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Arty!” his mother cried, giving him a scornful look. “You ought to treat our guest with a little more respect. Would you like tea, Ms. McGonagall? Oh, come this way, we can all sit down to relax while we talk.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Angeline led the the three to a sitting room full of plush, antique chairs and polished wood tables, and as she took a seat in her favorite of the chairs said, “Sit wherever you’d like!” and called for Juliet, Butler’s younger sister, to bring them tea.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you teach anything at the school, then, Ms. McGonagall?” Angeline asked after they had all been seated. She was the only one who lounged comfortably upon her chair; Artemis and Professor McGonagall both sat with straight backs, looking very proper, while Butler sat forward in his seat, alert to any potential danger that the witch might pose.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I do,” She responded, her voice thick with a Scottish accent. “I teach the subject of transfiguration, a branch of magic focused on the alteration of an object’s form or appearance, as well as conjuration and vanishment.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Turning something into something else, making things appear, and making them disappear,” Artemis summarized. “Can you show us that?”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The witch nodded once sharply. “Certainly, young man.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She pulled her wand from her robes—causing Butler to tense momentarily—and waved it. As she did, a tea set appeared on the table before them. McGonagall waved her wand again, and as she did, the teapot lifted itself into the air, tipping to pour its contents into the cups that sat on the tray with it. As the teapot finished filling each cup, Juliet came through the door holding a tray full with a teapot and cups, then stopped in her tracks at the sight of the tray on the table. She looked highly unimpressed. Angeline gave her a sheepish smile. “Maybe Timmy could use a break from the boys.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, that settles that,” Artemis said as Juliet stalked back out of the room grumbling about magic. “I want to attend Hogwarts.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Surprised flashed across Angeline’s face. Her son had never shown a great interest in school, in fact he complained about his old boarding school of St. Bartleby’s almost as much as the teachers complained about him. Yet here he was, downright eager to go farther away than ever for his education. Of course, magic was not a subject offered by St. Bartleby’s, and Artemis was what some might describe as hungry for knowledge. The expression was quickly followed by disappointment. Artemis had only just been returned to her after years missing, and here he was, ready to travel to the UK, leaving his family behind for a better part of the year.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not so fast, Master Fowl,” Minerva said. “We have a lot to discuss, first.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My unusual circumstances?” Artemis guessed. “My letter said as much. What is unusual about my circumstances?”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He spoke the words with a tone that clearly stated what he really meant. <em>We’re talking about magic here, and somehow that’s not the part that’s unusual?</em></span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, your circumstances.” Minerva confirmed, ignoring the words between the lines. “Master Fowl, most wizards and witches begin displaying their magical abilities at the age of six years old, if not younger, and all children begin attending Hogwarts at eleven, if they so choose to pursue their magical talents. You, however…”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I am fifteen, almost sixteen, and only just now received an invitation.” Artemis concluded for her, the lie coming out smoothly. He wondered if there was a spell for witches and wizards to know his true age, or if they could only go by whatever birth records existed for the child in question. Did wizards keep records like that?</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes,” Professor McGonagall said, furrowing her brow. “All underage wizards and witches have the Trace on them, a charm that the Ministry of Magic uses to keep track of underage magic. Your Trace, however, was not activated until yesterday. Meaning that you had never performed any magic prior to that moment.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I see. So I am behind, developmentally speaking.” In more ways than this, Artemis thought to himself.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Indeed. Five years behind, to be precise. Now there are a few ways we can catch you up to your peers-”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If I may, Professor,” Artemis interrupted. “I am a very fast learner. My non-magical education, albeit informal, includes secondary schooling as well as the equivalent to multiple postsecondary degrees. I have no doubt that, given the opportunity, I can catch up to my peers within the autumn term.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Young man, you’re talking about learning not only the basics of magic, but extremely advanced concepts in preparation for your O.W.L. examinations,” McGonagall said sternly.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Artemis appeared calm. “I fail to see the problem.”</span>
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</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, Arty,” his mother sighed. There was a reason those teachers at St. Bartleby’s complained about him. </span>
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</span>
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  <span>The Professor pursed her lips. “This matter will have to be taken up with the ministry. They’re in charge of the O.W.L.’s. If they don’t wish to hold a special session for you, you’ll just have to wait until the end of the year like the rest of the fifth years, and that is if your teachers believe you understand enough of the materials to be prepared for them.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I assure you, they will.” Artemis smiled a vampire smile. “Now, I’d like to sort out this matter as soon as possible. Today, preferably. The sooner this is taken care of, the sooner I can start preparing myself.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Regardless of what the ministry decides, there are a few things you can do to prepare yourself for the coming school year. Diagon Alley, a wizard shopping street in London.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Am I right to assume that you have the magical capability to take us there today?” Artemis asked.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Minerva hesitated to respond, weighing her options. She glanced at Angeline, then at Butler, and then looked at Artemis, taking a deep breath and answering. “I can take two of you.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was Artemis’s turn to hesitate. From the corner of his eyes he could see both Butler and his mother’s reactions to Professor McGonagall’s words. Butler would surely want to come and keep an eye on Artemis, though he was no longer as fit for bodyguard duty as he had been even two years prior. His mother of course would want to experience this milestone in her eldest son’s life alongside him, particularly because of his absence from her life for the past two years. It was a decision that he did not want to make. Perhaps he wouldn’t have to.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Butler, Mother. I think I would like to go with Professor McGonagall alone.” He said after a moment.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t mean to speak out of turn, Mrs. Fowl, but I don’t like that idea,” Butler said, turning to Angeline. Oh, that was a low blow. Taking his grievances straight to the one person who could order Artemis to take Butler with him and have him actually listen.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t either, Butler. Artemis, why don’t you want us to go with you?” Angeline said, but Artemis knew what she really wanted to ask is why don’t you want me to go with you?</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, I am nearly an adult, Mother, I think I can handle a little shopping on my own.” He said with very little conviction. He hated upsetting his mother. Neither of the adults spoke, and Artemis finally muttered, “And I would prefer not to have to chose between you.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>If Artemis hadn’t been staring at his lap in embarrassment, he might have noticed the sharpness of Professor McGongagall’s eyes soften a bit, or the way his mother slouched sadly. “Oh, Arty… Take Butler with you, at the very least. After what happened… I’m sure Ms. McGonagall is a very competent witch, but I’d feel better if Butler was with you.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, Mother,” Artemis responded, pleased to have the decision made for him, although he felt guilty at tricking Angeline into making the choice for him.  He stood, as did Butler and McGongagall, and he stepped closer to her. “What do we do now?”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The deputy headmistress stretches a hand out to the both of them. “Take hold of my arms, both of you, and hold on tight. I’m going to Apparate us there.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They both did as they were told, and as soon as the witch was satisfied with their grip, she turned on the spot.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Apologies for any formatting errors you may find, fighting with AO3's editor is a bit of a nightmare. ^.^;</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>As Professor McGonagall Apparated their party, Artemis got the distinct sensation of being forced through a tight rubber tube, and was reminded of two years prior—no, four years now—when he found himself crawling through a pipe that fed plasma to the DNA cannons protecting Koboi Labs. He could almost feel the electric sparks shooting through his limbs as he had at the time. His knees buckled beneath him before he had a chance to register that his feet were upon solid ground again, but before his face met the pavement two steadying hands grabbed him by the shoulders, keeping him upright. He glanced up into the faces of two concerned adults.</span>
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  <span>“Alright there, Artemis?” Butler asked, and Artemis straightened up, dusting imaginary dirt from his suit jacket. Butler and McGonagall both let go, Butler more reluctantly so.</span>
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  <span>“Yes, old friend. Just unused to the sensation, is all.” He didn’t know if either noticed the way he was shaking, but neither said anything about it. He turned away to look at the street, avoiding Butler’s worried gaze.</span>
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  <span>Diagon Alley was not as Artemis expected from magical society. There was a ghost of a vibrant lane in the shop windows and cobblestone street, but it was hidden beneath a general gloom in the air. Large, purple posters covered most windows, warning of the dangers of an organization called The Death Eaters and sporting advice on magical security. The spaces in between were filled with mugshots, the photographs moving like animated GIFs, and any window that wasn’t completely coated in posters and mugshots was boarded up, the shops hidden from sight, apparently in a state of permanent closure. Shabby stalls lined the street in front of the shopfronts, selling suspicious merchandise claiming to protect against various threats. </span>
  <span>
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</p><p>
  <span>“Who are these ‘Death Eaters’ the ministry is warning about?” Butler asked, tense as if ready for attack. Artemis, for once, couldn’t blame his paranoia. Even he felt perturbed by the atmosphere of the Alley.</span>
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  <span>McGonagall frowned. “They are followers of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. A terrorist of a wizard who has recently returned.”</span>
  <span>
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</p><p>
  <span>“He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named?” Artemis raised a brow. He was suddenly glad that his mother wasn’t here with them. Surely upon hearing the word terrorist alongside the posters would have her telling Artemis under no circumstances was he allowed to attend Hogwarts or even breathe a word of magic in case they were attacked. “Doesn’t that seem a bit juvenile?”</span>
  <span>
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</p><p>
  <span>McGonagall’s lips twisted in a grimace. “He is responsible for some of the worst atrocities the wizarding world has seen, Master Fowl. You’d do well to understand why people are so afraid of his return.”</span>
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  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Fear of the name increases fear of the thing itself,” Artemis dismissed, and McGonagall paused at that. Artemis wondered if she was shocked by that sort of wisdom coming from a so-called fifteen year old. Adults often were. “Even so, you didn’t think to inform us of this before we left? I doubt my mother would be too pleased to learn the state of the world I am about to become a part of.”</span>
  <span>
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  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“The ministry has yet to believe that the Death Eaters pose that level of threat,” McGonagall said. “And besides, Hogwarts is the safest place in wizarding Britain. Far safer for you than your muggle home will be against a group like the Death Eaters.”</span>
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</p><p>
  <span>“Muggle?” Artemis asked. </span>
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</p><p>
  <span>“Non-magical,” McGonagall said.</span>
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</p><p>
  <span>“Ah,” said Artemis. And that would, presumably, make him muggleborn, or some such status. He wondered what the children of magical families were called. Communities all over had their prejudices, and he was betting that the family you came from was one of the wizarding world’s. “Well then, where to first, professor?”</span>
  <span>
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  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You’ll need money to purchase your supplies,” Professor McGonagall said, nodding to the austere building at the end of the lane. “Gringotts Bank, run by goblins. You can convert your muggle money there.”</span>
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  </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Outwardly, Artemis did not react to the implication that goblins had the brains enough to do anything near as complex as work in the financial sector, but inwardly he was blinking in apprehension. The idea that there were goblins here that Foaly was unaware of was almost incomprehensible, even when Artemis was the one that argued that Foaly couldn’t possibly know every bit of magic happening aboveground. Their arrival at the bank, however, was explanation enough for Artemis. </span>
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  <span>These so called goblins were not at all what he expected. They looked more like elves or pixies than the reptilian goblins he was used to seeing, though still their features were off enough that he knew that was not what they were. Their faces were sharper, with hooked noses and ears that seemed more pointed than even Holly Short’s own. Their fingers and feet were long and thin like he had never seen on another creature. He wondered if their name of goblin was simply a misnomer adopted by wizards, or if these surface dwellers really were related to the fireball conjuring lizards below ground. </span>
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  <span>The wait at Gringotts was long, owing to the fact that security was increased because of the reappearance of this “You-Know-Who”.</span>
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</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>No, I do not know who.</span>
  </em>
  <span> Artemis thought grumpily as the wizard guards at the entrance examined his fairy omnisensor, which had set off their dark detectors. Finally, when they had determined it was not a threat, it was handed back to him and they were allowed inside. He thought of the security in the International Bank of Munich, security he had bypassed quite easily, and idly thought about how he would bypass magic based security to break into the vaults below Gringotts. His stomach lurched suddenly as he considered the job, and when the urge to gag hit him he remembered the poem inscribed on the silver doors welcoming patrons and warning thieves. Apparently even his hypothetical theft revoked his invitation, and he turned his thoughts onto the legitimate business he had at the bank until the nausea passed. Ten minutes of impatient foot tapping and watch checking later, they were at a teller’s desk. </span>
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  <span>“I’m here to open a vault,” Artemis said. “Do you take deposits of muggle currency?”</span>
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  <span>The goblin raised a brow at him, perhaps surprised that anyone would be thinking to open a vault in troubled times such as these. Artemis supposed that most people were making withdrawals, not deposits. “We can convert your muggle currency from almost any form, except electronic.”</span>
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  <span>“Including cheques?” Artemis asked curiously. That would certainly be helpful given he currently only had one other way to make a money transfer, and that was just specifically excluded by the goblin. </span>
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  <span>“Including cheques. A human liaison will take it to a muggle bank to be cashed.” The goblin explained, apparently sensing Artemis’s interest in the process. </span>
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</p><p>
  <span>“Very well, a cheque then.”</span>
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</p><p>
  <span>“Your name, sir?” the goblin asked, pulling out a form from beneath the desk. </span>
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</p><p>
  <span>“Artemis Fowl the Second,” Artemis said, and pulled his own form out from his wallet, a cheque.</span>
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</p><p>
  <span>“Fowl, you say?” the goblin asked, scratching his chin and checking something in the ledger on his desk. “You appear to already have a vault.”</span>
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</p><p>
  <span>Artemis narrowed his eyes. “I have no magical ancestors.”</span>
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</p><p>
  <span>“Are you not descendent from Lord Hugo de Folé, also known by the name Lord Hugh Fowl?”</span>
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</p><p>
  <span>Artemis blinked in surprise. “I am.”</span>
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</p><p>
  <span>“Then you have a vault, and a magical ancestor,” the goblin said. “I suppose then that means you do not have a key to the vault?”</span>
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</p><p>
  <span>“You suppose correctly,” Artemis said dryly. </span>
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</p><p>
  <span>“Then you will be issued another. Do you wish to make a withdrawal from your vault today, or will you continue with the deposit?”</span>
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</p><p>
  <span>“I am most interested to see what my ancestor has saved for me. We’ll go to the vault.”</span>
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  <span>Professor McGonagall opted to stay in the concourse while Artemis and Butler went below to the vault. As soon as they were seated in the cart that would take them down, Artemis understood why. It was like a rollercoaster without seatbelts. Butler had a tight grip on Artemis’s shoulder as they wound their way down deep into the cavern, cheeks rippling from the speed. Artemis was reminded of the shuttle rides he had been on with Holly in the pilot’s seat. She was a flyboy and a daredevil. He unconsciously reached for a seatbelt he wouldn’t find just thinking about stunts she pulled in the chutes with him on board her shuttle. </span>
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  <span>His ancestor’s vault was deep into the cavern, among those alive for the bank’s founding, presumably. Artemis wondered what happened to Lord Hugo de Folé that no Fowls since were magical. Perhaps it was the work of the fairies? Or had the wizarding gene simply died along with him?</span>
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</p><p>
  <span>The goblin who had escorted them to the vault opened the door with his key and an elaborate lock began to turn, tumblers falling into place until the door was swinging open with a loud creak. Inside the vault was treasures that, had Artemis grown up in poverty, would have been beyond his wildest dreams. Stacks of gold bars, piles of glittering gems and coins, shining swords and armor, and jewelry that sparkled with beauty and magic. It seemed the Fowl fortune had been split between two worlds for some time.</span>
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  <span>Artemis went to one of the piles of golden coins and began to fill a bag the goblin provided him. He had no idea how much he would need to purchase all his supplies, but it couldn’t have been more than a single bag full. The three departed back for the bank’s main level.</span>
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  <span>“The big, golden coins are Galleons, the silver are Sickles, and the little bronze coins are Knuts. Seventeen Sickles to the Galleon, twenty-nine Knuts to the Sickle.” the goblin explained as they returned to the desk, meeting up with Professor McGonagall exactly where they had left her. </span>
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</p><p>
  <span>“All set here, then?” She asked as they approached, and Artemis nodded.</span>
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  <span>“I was unsure how much I should take, but assumed that one bag full should cover everything,” he said.</span>
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</p><p>
  <span>“Yes… that will be more than enough,” she agreed.</span>
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</p><p>
  <span>The trio went first to Flourish and Blotts, a book store filled from floor to ceiling with books of all kinds, where Artemis was able to purchase five years worth of studying materials. The stack of books was even taller than Butler, which was saying something given Butler was nearly seven feet tall.</span>
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  <span>As Artemis arranged with the shopkeeper for his books to be delivered to Fowl Manor (“as expediently as possible, I would prefer to start my studies before the school year begins, after all.”), Butler glanced around at the surrounding shelves. He had become quite the voracious reader of fiction during the years that Artemis was missing in Limbo thanks to their young friend Minerva Paradizo, and so he asked, “Are there any good wizarding fictions?”</span>
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  <span>Minerva McGonagall glanced in his direction, then responded dryly, “Try the name Lockhart.”</span>
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  <span>He wondered if there was a story there.</span>
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</p><p>
  <span>Their next stop, and the last before they would return to the manor, was at Ollivanders, the wand maker. Artemis would not admit it if asked, but he was actually quite excited about this part. This would be the true proof of his magic. He was almost nervous to enter and have this part of himself realized.</span>
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  <span>The interior of the shop was dimly lit and dusty, shelves filled with boxes that seemed to be in no particular order cluttered the room, making it a squeeze to fit all three of them inside the building. Among the shelves was an old man, his pale, silvery eyes turned upon the guests in his shop.</span>
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  <span>“Ah, customers, welcome,” He said as he approached. He looked to Butler and then to Artemis and asked, “I don’t believe we’ve met? I am Garrick Ollivander, the proprietor of this here shop.”</span>
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  <span>“No. This is my first time purchasing a wand.” Artemis responded. “I am Artemis Fowl the Second, and this is Butler.”</span>
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  <span>Ollivander’s eyebrows rose at that. “Your first wand?”</span>
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  <span>“I’m what you might call a late bloomer,” Artemis said with a shrug.</span>
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</p><p>
  <span>“And a Fowl, you say? Any relation to Lord Hugo de Folé?”</span>
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</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, distantly.”</span>
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</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, Hugo de Folé, blackthorn with a dragon heartstring core, I believe. Eleven and a half inches, unyielding.”</span>
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  <span>Artemis narrowed his eyes at this. It was the second time in so long that he had learned something about his ancestor he was not aware of, but this time it was said from memory, as if the man had been there to serve Hugo de Folé a wand himself. </span>
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</p><p>
  <span>“I’m more interested to learn what my wand will be, if you please.” Artemis said. </span>
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</p><p>
  <span>“Ah, but of course. Which is your wand arm?” Ollivander asked, producing a tape measure. Artemis was ambidextrous, but naturally favored his left hand, and so presented his left arm to the wand-maker. The tape measure set to work then, launching itself into the air to take measurements from Artemis, some the length of his arm and around his wrist, but others with seemly no relation to the task at hand. Artemis’s eyes crossed as the tape measure moved to take various measurements of his face, and he blinked rapidly to restore his vision as it moved on. After the tape measure had apparently finished its job, Ollivander moved to a nearby shelf and pulled down a box.</span>
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  <span>“Let’s start with this one: chestnut and dragon heartstring, ten inches, quite stiff.”</span>
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  <span>Artemis took the wand and before being told, gave it a little wave. Before he had even completed it though, Ollivander had snatched the wand away. “No, no, not that one. Let’s try this.”</span>
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</p><p>
  <span>He brought another wand to Artemis, handing it to him and announcing, “Acacia and dragon heartstring.”</span>
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  <span>Artemis waved this wand as well, causing a stack of boxes to fly from their shelves. He blinked as Ollivander took the wand, humming thoughtfully. </span>
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  <span>“You’re going to be a tricky one to match, I can tell.” He sounded excited by the challenge.</span>
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  <span>Ollivander brought wand after wand to Artemis in a variety of combinations: applewood and unicorn hair, elm and dragon heartstring, pine and dragon heartstring, vine and unicorn hair, cypress and unicorn hair. The more random destruction Artemis caused to the man’s shop, the more excited he seemed to become.</span>
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  <span>“We’re getting close now. I think I may know the one,” he said and hurried down a crowded aisle, finger tapping along the boxes until he found the one he was looking for. He pulled it out, hustling it back to the front of the shop for Artemis to try.</span>
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  <span>“English oak and phoenix feather. Nine and a half inches, slightly springy. Give it a wave.”</span>
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  <span>Artemis did so, and immediately knew that Ollivander had finally found the one. His body was filled with a warmth that he knew only from the fairy magic he had performed. As if the wand wanted to confirm his suspicions, a shower of blue sparks shot from the tip, falling feather light on the table and dancing along its surface, water rings and scuff marks being zapped away and leaving the tabletop like new wherever they touched. Of course it would be oak. He should have guessed as much. </span>
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  <span>Ollivander seemed hardly able to contain his excitement. “The wood of that wand came from a very old tree. Very aged, very powerful wood there.”</span>
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  <span>“An ancient oak by a river bend…” Artemis muttered as he held the wand in his hands, as if he were afraid Ollivander may change his mind and try to give him a different one. </span>
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  <span>Ollivander gave a thoughtful scratch to his chin. “I do believe you’re right, Master Fowl. It did indeed come from a tree at a river’s bend. How, though, did you know that?” </span>
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  <span>Artemis blinked, startled out of his revere. “Just… reminded of an old nursery rhyme.”</span>
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  <span>The answer was apparently good enough for Ollivander, as he didn’t press Artemis for further explanation. Artemis paid for his new wand and as he did, Ollivander explained the finer details of its core and wood. The rarity of phoenix feather, for example, and the rumors that Merlin himself wielded a wand of English oak, points that earned it even more favor in Artemis’s eyes, though for some reason he felt as though there was no amount of negative things Ollivander could say about his wand that would make him hate it. </span>
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  <span>“Now Master Fowl, it’s important for you to know that underage magic is not permitted outside of school grounds,” Professor McGonagall explained as they left the shop, Artemis’s wand still held firmly in hand. “You may study your school books and write if you have any questions, but any actual practice must wait until classes begin on September first.”</span>
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  <span>“I understand, Professor,” Artemis said, a suspiciously easy agreement coming from the genius teenager who seemed overconfident in his ability to catch up to his peers. This was, of course, because he already had a plan forming to fool the Trace.</span>
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  <span>McGonagall motioned for her two companions to take her arms again so she could Apparate them back to the manor. This time Artemis stumbled, but didn’t need any help keeping himself upright when they arrived. The entire household was waiting for him exactly where he’d left from, eager to hear about his trip. Beckett was insistent he be allowed to hold the wand, while Miles asked about the books that were meant to be arriving within a few days time. Artemis managed to escape from the fawning after a few minutes as Butler drew their attention away to talk about the vaults in Gringotts, the cart ride down, and the possibility that twins might also inherit magical abilities as Artemis had.</span>
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  <span>“You’ll receive a letter later this summer informing you of the rest of the equipment you’ll need for Hogwarts. Until then, your books should tide you over. And remember what I told you about performing magic outside of school,” McGonagall said, giving him a very pointed look.</span>
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  <span>“I’m not so airheaded as to have already forgotten, Professor,” Artemis responded dryly. </span>
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  <span>“I’ll warn you now, Master Fowl, you are not the first and shall certainly not be the last troublemaker that I deal with in my career. Do not think that your status will protect you from punishment if your actions are found to be outside of the rules.”</span>
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  <span>Artemis put on his most innocent face. If McGonagall were anyone less experienced, it might have even worked. “I haven’t the faintest idea what you mean.”</span>
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  <span>She raised a brow at him, clearly unimpressed, but said nothing. If he refused to heed her warning, that would be on him, after all. She had had plenty of students that did as they pleased regardless of how many times they were reminded of the rules. Artemis struck her as the sort who saw rules as mere suggestions, or something for lesser people to worry about. “I will see you again on September the first, Master Fowl. Do try to take my words into consideration before you arrive.”</span>
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  <span>Professor McGonagall said her goodbyes to the rest of the family, smiling warmly at the twins who begged her to take them to get wands as well, and then left as she had entered, out the front door. </span>
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  <span>Artemis rejoined his family in the sitting room, describing his experience in Diagon Alley to them, what it felt like to Apparate, and the random destruction caused by each incorrect wand he tried. A ghost of a smile even passed his lips as he held the undivided attention of his family without his parents treating him like something fragile, about to break at the gentlest of touches. Even if he had actually been kidnapped he imagined it would wear on his nerves after some time. Artemis Fowl the Second was anything but fragile.</span>
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  <span>When the talk of magic finally began to lose its charm, Artemis excused himself to his room, being careful to lock the door, and set his wand on the desk in front of him. It was the symbol of his magic, and the link between the two varieties that flowed through his blood. He channeled his human magic through a vessel that represented the People’s. Artemis had to smile. If Holly could hear this internal monologue she would laugh at his melodrama. Perhaps she would find the revelation amusing even without the flowery prose.</span>
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  <span>Artemis twisted the ring upon his finger so that the gemstone imbedded in it faced his palm, and brought his hand up to his ear in a mock telephone.</span>
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  <span>“Holly? I was wondering if I could arrange a visit to Haven. I have something I need to test…”</span>
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  <span>—</span>
  
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  <span>Albus Dumbledore sat to his desk, contemplating his position. </span>
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  <span>Marvolo Gaunt’s ring was before him, cracked down the center, another Horcrux destroyed, but still five more remained. One of which…</span>
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  <span>There was also the matter of his imminent death. He prepared the arrangements himself. His will was finalized, and all that was left was to leave Harry with the information he would need to defeat Voldemort once and for all. </span>
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  <span>It was a lot to leave on the shoulders of one boy. Albus sighed. He could not let sentiment get in his way now. He had allowed it to do so for much too long as it was.</span>
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  <span>He was interrupted from his brooding silence by a knock at the door. Albus replaced the ring in one of his desk drawers, then straightened up and said, “Come in.”</span>
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  <span>Minerva McGonagall entered then, looking strict as she often did when she had to deal with the rule breaking students. There was an edge to the expression though that caught Albus’s attention. “Something on your mind, Minerva?”</span>
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  <span>“I have just been to see Artemis Fowl the Second,” she said, her lips dropping a degree further into a frown. She sat down across from him, a stack of muggle newsprint in her hands. “and it compelled me to do some research into the Fowl family.”</span>
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  <span>“I imagine whatever you found was enlightening,” Albus said, raising his brows. Minerva would not have visited had she not been concerned.</span>
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  <span>“Oh yes. There was something off about that boy,” she said, and before adding more she slid the newspapers across the desk to him. On top of the stack was a headline that declared the Fowl heir returned after two years missing, but somehow the fact that a child had been miraculously returned from apparent kidnapping was not the most pressing thing that Albus noticed. Instead, his eyes focused immediately on the photo accompanying the article, the photo of Artemis Fowl the Second. Pale, dark hair, and a cold expression on his face that Albus recognized all too well. It was an expression he had seen often from another pale, dark-haired youth. Tom Riddle.</span>
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  <span>“I see what you mean,” Albus said slowly, as he began shifting through the various newspaper clippings that Minerva had brought to him. Though some made no obvious mention of Artemis, others explicitly concerned him and his family. The kidnapping of Artemis himself. The disappearance of his own father, and eventual return. A shooting at a restaurant in England. The ruination of an American businessman who claimed it to be Artemis’s doing. A massacre of Russian Mafiya, who blamed Artemis for the bloodshed between them.</span>
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  <span>“The Fowls have, for centuries, been a family of criminals. They’ve built an empire on it, and aren’t afraid to flaunt it. You see the people Artemis apparently fraternizes with.” Minerva said, motioning to the newspapers that claimed the company Artemis kept was less than savory. “And that is only what I found in print.”</span>
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  <span>“You’re worried about him.”</span>
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  <span>“His demeanor was like a pureblood before he even discovered he had magical heritage, and you can see here what he’s capable of through muggle means exclusively. What could he possibly accomplish with magic on his side?”</span>
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  <span>“What about his family?” Albus asked. Minerva’s thoughts were obviously in the same place as his own; this child could end up the next Dark Lord. But to look exclusively at these deeds before him was shortsighted, after all, none of these victims seemed to be entirely innocent themselves. It was only part of the picture that was Artemis Fowl the Second.</span>
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  <span>Minerva’s face softened at that. “He cares about them. That much is clear.”</span>
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  <span>“Well, right there is one difference between this boy and Voldemort,” Albus said, ignoring the way Minerva flinched at the name. “He may already understand the power of love. And if not, it will not be an impossible task to help him.”</span>
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  <span>“Regardless of how much potential for good he may have, we’ll need to keep an eye on him,” Minerva said, pursing her lips. “I know the look of a student who thinks he can break the rules and get away with it when I see it.” </span>
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  <span>Albus smiled. “Yes, we will certainly watch him, but where he falls in this war, only time will tell. It wouldn’t do to push him to the wrong side by assuming the worst of him before he has a chance to personally show us what he’s made of.”</span>
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  <span>“Speaking of what he’s made of, he seems to think very highly of his own ability. He thinks he’ll be able to complete his O.W.L.’s before the holidays and be caught up to his peers by Christmas, assuming the ministry will allow him a special session.”</span>
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  <span>“Really, now? Well, it will be interesting to see if he’s half as capable as he thinks he is.”</span>
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  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Accio Neutrino!”</p><p>Holly Short swiveled in her chair to glare at Artemis, who held the Neutrino he had just summoned off of her desk in his hand, a smug smile on his face.<br/>“Would you knock that off? Just because it’s coded to my DNA doesn’t mean you won’t somehow accidentally set it off.” She huffed. If he was annoying when he was simply a Mud Boy with a too big brain, magic had made him completely insufferable.</p><p>Artemis’s call five weeks earlier asking to arrange a visit to Haven City concerned a theory he had regarding the Trace, as the wizards called the spell that kept track of underage magic use. If the Mud Men could block the fairies from seeing their magic use, he reasoned, then the fairies could also block the Trace from knowing of his magic use. Foaly, still sore about all the human magic going on under his nose for centuries, agreed readily to letting Artemis visit the lab and test his new abilities, if only because it would give him a chance to study that magic right alongside him. Wing Commander Vinyáya reluctantly agreed after Foaly and Artemis had a chance to make their case to her, or as Holly liked to describe it, beg for her permission.</p><p>Once Artemis’s school books arrived, approximately one week after his initial trip to Diagon Alley, he and Butler began traveling to Haven regularly, much to the disappointment of Artemis’s mother—who he hadn’t been entirely honestly with about where he was going—and the poor fairy who had to escort them through the chutes.</p><p>At first, watching Artemis getting a shaky handle on his new magic, and the absolute, childlike glee on his face every time he successfully performed a spell had been fun. It was rare for Artemis to be so candid with his emotions, and for some reason Holly very much enjoyed watching the Mud Boy smile genuinely. She had almost lost the ability to ever see her human friend again, just a few short months ago, when she had died and then not-died. She had been told that was an effect of near death experiences, finding a new enjoyment from things that might have been previously unappreciated. And she did appreciate it, until Artemis started using his magic in exceedingly irritating ways. Like to steal things off her desk and pretend that he was actually coordinated enough to catch it before it beaned him in the face. Granted, his nosed didn’t look like it had been recently broken by a handgun butt, but it was a lucky catch at best.</p><p>“Accidentally set it off? That’s impossible.” Came Foaly’s voice over the computer on Holly’s desk. He was often confined to his Operations Booth when Artemis came visiting. To monitor the energy signatures of his magic, yes, but also because he didn’t want to be on the unfortunate receiving end of any botched spells that Artemis might produce.</p><p>“I don’t say that because I doubt your abilities, Foaly,” Holly said as she stalked over to snatch the gun away from Artemis. “I say it because I believe if anyone could manage to break your inventions, it’s Artemis.”</p><p>“The only inventions of Foaly’s I’ve broken are the ones that I intended to,” Artemis said in mock hurt.</p><p>“Still!” Holly shouted, putting the Neutrino away in a drawer. She had no idea if the summoning charm worked through drawers, but she prayed that Artemis did not intend to find out today. Or at least if he did he would pick a different target.</p><p>“My time before the school year begins is running short, Holly. I need to get in all the practice I can if I want to catch up in time to be able to take those examinations early.”</p><p>“You sound like you’re more interested in being a school boy than you are your mission to investigate these magic Mud Men on behalf of the LEP.” She said, leveling him with a pointed look.</p><p>“Don’t be silly, Holly,” Artemis said, waving a dismissive hand. “Of course I’m interested in learning magic, though obviously I need no formal education to learn it well enough, but my mind is still on the mission. If I’m trying to blend in then that means acting as a regular student would, and given I am five years worth of material behind, that would mean cramming every day until I am caught up, which would severely limit the amount of time I would have to gather information for the LEP.”</p><p>Artemis had, of course, already shared with the LEP what he had gathered about He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. After some digging he discovered that the man was called Lord Voldemort, and that he was among the darkest wizards on recorded history. He was defeated sixteen years prior when his killing curse reflected off his intended target (and, incidentally, said target would be in Artemis’s year at Hogwarts) and instead hit him, which should have been the end of things, but somehow in the past two years he had returned, and his followers flocked right back to him. None of this boded well with the People, but since they hadn’t heard a peep about him the first time he was in power, they decided to follow through with their original plan to let Artemis play spy, so long as he still consented.</p><p>“Right, well, since your time is so short, maybe you should start practicing the next one. I’d say you have a pretty good handle on this Accio Neutrino nonsense.” she said, gesturing to the stack of books beside him for reference. Artemis grabbed the book on top, The Standard Book of Spells, Grade 4 and began flipping through the pages.</p><p>“The summoning charm is taught at the fourth year, so I’m advancing at a fairly quick rate,” Artemis said. “I should have a decent mastery of Charms by the end of the week. I still have quite a bit of work to do in Transfiguration, it’s a bit more difficult to perform, but I have a firm understanding of the theory. Defense Against the Dark Arts would be advancing more smoothly if I had targets to practice the defensive spells on, but I’m not too worried about that either. It appears to be mostly focused on rote memorization of facts rather than practical ability.”</p><p>“Sheesh, Mud Boy, and we thought you talked a lot before,” Foaly said, at which Artemis’s cheeks colored a bit.</p><p>“I, for one, am quite happy you’ve found a passion for something other than thievery,” Holly said with a smirk. “Although you did come by it through thievery, now that I think about it.”</p><p>“Laugh all you want now, Holly, but if I hadn’t stolen that magic the People could have found themselves caught in another war with humans without a clue what to expect from their enemies,” Artemis said.</p><p>“Thieving is still thieving no matter how positive the outcome is for others,” Holly countered. “But you’re right. I said that the world wasn’t ready for an Artemis Fowl who has magic, but now… I’m glad that he does.”</p><p>Artemis smiled softly. “Thank you, Holly. I appreciate it. Truly.”</p><p>From the corner a mountain rumbled. The mountain was, of course, Butler, clearing his throat to catch his employer’s attention. “As much as I hate to cut this touching conversation short, it’s about time for us to return to Fowl Manor. Your mother will not be happy if we’re late for dinner. Again.”</p><p>“Yes, of course. Thank you, Butler.” Artemis said, closing his book and standing. “Until tomorrow, Holly. Foaly.”</p><p>“See you tomorrow, Artemis,” Holly said at the same time Foaly said, “Goodbye, Mud Boy.”</p><p>Artemis packed his belongings up, and the two humans departed for shuttle port E1 to Tara, Ireland. From there, they made the half an hour drive back to Fowl Manor, arriving in time for dinner with time to spare. Artemis was rather thankful for that, because as he opened his study door to put away his books, he found a familiar, feathered face waiting at the window. He dropped his bag on the floor unceremoniously and ran to the window—something he would deny if anyone asked—deftly unlocking the latch and opening it to allow Celeste entrance.</p><p>“Took you long enough! I’ve been waiting for you for hours. Where were you?” She hooted indignantly as she flapped over to the desk.</p><p>“My apologies,” Artemis said, managing to look almost sheepish. “I was practicing.”</p><p>He held up his wand to illustrate. Celeste stuck her leg out to him as she had before, and he untied the letter attached there.</p><p>“Isn’t underage magic illegal?” She asked, squinting at him.</p><p>“Yes, but I have found ways around such barriers,” Artemis said, eyes scanning the supply list. Robes, gloves, a cauldron, phials, telescope, scales, nothing that Artemis couldn’t procure easily. Another trip to Diagon Alley would be in order, it appeared.</p><p>“Around, he says!” Celeste said. “You’re a tricky human aren’t you?”</p><p>“The trickiest,” Artemis agreed.</p><p>“Why have you admitted your crimes to me, then? Aren’t you worried I’ll let the rat out of the bag?” She asked, and Artemis’s lips twitched into a smile.</p><p>“Why would I be? You said so yourself: I am the only human you have met who speaks owl. Who would you tell? The other owls at Hogwarts?”<br/>Celeste clicked her beak. “So I did.”</p><p>“Have you eaten recently?” Artemis asked, changing the subject to spare Celeste some embarrassment.</p><p>“Not yet, human. Do you know how hard it is to hunt with a letter tied to your leg? Everything hears you coming, the way it flaps noisily in the wind.”</p><p>“Well, feel free to hunt on the grounds before you leave. You’ll need the energy for the trip, I assume.”</p><p>“I certainly will! You live a long way from Hogwarts, I’ll have you know.”</p><p>“I don’t doubt it,” Artemis said, setting the letter down to open the window for Celeste again. “I suppose the next time I’ll see you will be on the first of September, then.”</p><p>“If you come to the Owlery for a visit you will,” Celeste said.</p><p>“I’ll mark it on my calendar,” Artemis said as Celeste swooped out the window.</p><p>Artemis folded the letter up and put it away in its envelope, sticking it in the top drawer of his desk, out of sight. He knew that his mother would want to escort him on his trip, especially since she was unable to go the last time, but he knew he couldn’t allow her to see the state of the wizarding world if he wanted to ever make it to Hogwarts.</p><p>No, this would be a trip he would make in secret alongside Butler. Getting to London would be no object for them. The People were being quite generous with their resources, given the circumstances. A quick shuttle trip from Tara to Haven to Stonehenge, and perhaps an express flight directly into the city, if they were lucky.<br/>Artemis went downstairs to join his family for dinner, his progress with magic the topic of discussion as always. His parents were none the wiser about the ministry’s laws, he made sure to suggest they not worry about it, with a bit of fairy mesmer to insure that they did exactly that.</p><p>Soon, he and Butler would return to Diagon Alley, and perhaps even meet some of Artemis’s new classmates.</p><p>—</p><p><br/>Harry Potter very nearly expected Madam Malkin’s shop to be completely deserted when he, Ron, Hermione, and Hagrid approached it—the street outside of the shop certainly suggested it would be. But, to the surprise of all four of them, there were two people to be found inside, an unfamiliar, pale boy with raven colored hair and a Eurasian man with a shaved head that, had Harry not already befriended a half-giant, would have been intimidatingly tall. In fact, he still was intimidating. The man’s body language made it clear that he was ready to spring into action at a moments notice, and for some reason Harry got the feeling that it wouldn’t even be close to the first time he’d had to put whatever skills he had to use.</p><p>As the door swung open to admit the three students, the two inhabitants turned to glance their way, the man assessing them as if looking for a threat, while the boy’s eyes lingered on Harry’s scar. He was hardly the first, but it still made Harry uncomfortable every time.</p><p>“Harry Potter,” the boy said, and a vampiric smile appeared on his face that made Harry shudder. “I knew that I would be joining your year, but I never expected to run into you so soon.”</p><p>His accent, although faint, was distinctly Irish. He reached a hand out to Harry. “Artemis Fowl the Second.”</p><p>“Er, good to meet you?” Harry said, hesitantly shaking the boy’s hand.</p><p>Beside him, Hermione frowned. “Did you say you’d be joining our year?”</p><p>“How’s that work? And aren’t you a little young to be sixth year?” Ron chimed in. Artemis’s expression never faltered.</p><p>“And you two are…?” He asked, one brow creeping up a fraction of an inch.</p><p>“Ron Weasley,” Ron answered, and Hermione followed somewhat more reluctantly. “Hermione Granger.”</p><p>“I’m older than I look,” Artemis answered after he was satisfied, but before he could elaborate a familiar voice broke in from behind a rack of dress robes, arguing with the shop owner, Madam Malkin. Artemis turned away from Harry then and watched as Draco Malfoy emerged like a puffed up, angry pigeon and strutted over to the mirror.</p><p>The ensuing fight between them was not exactly interesting in and of itself. Harry hesitated only briefly to draw his wand on Malfoy when he saw the man beside Artemis, who he now believed to be some sort of bodyguard, tense in preparation for the fight. It would have been an otherwise ordinary squabble if not for the fact that their onlooker apparently couldn’t help himself but join in.</p><p>“Do you really think it wise, Harry Potter, to be provoking anyone when you’re in the position you are?”</p><p>Everyone stopped to turn to Artemis, who was examining his fingernails as if he were terribly bored by the events around him.</p><p>“Excuse me?” Harry finally managed to get out.</p><p>“Death Eaters. That’s quite the accusation. Is that really the group of people whose ire you wish to provoke, given who you are and what you represent?” Artemis explained. Harry glared.</p><p>“Like they aren’t already trying to kill me, anyway,” he bit out in annoyance.</p><p>Madam Malkin used the distraction Artemis provided to try and get things back on the rails, rearranging some of the pins in Malfoy’s left sleeve as she said, “I think this left sleeve could come up a little bit more, dear, let me just-” But before she could say or do anything further, Malfoy howled in pain, berating the frazzled tailor for her poor job, and marching out the door with his mother in tow, a contemptuous comment about Hermione passing her lips as they left.<br/>Artemis Fowl raised a brow and simply said. “For someone of his status, he certainly didn’t act it. You would think he’s never had robes fitted before today.”<br/>After Madam Malkin had cleaned the robes Malfoy had thrown on the ground, she began working on Artemis, who, for all his comments, didn’t act any more patient with Madam Malkin than Malfoy had. She worked distractedly, and for every mistake she made he had a snide comment waiting in the wings to unleash on her, frazzling her even further. The look on Artemis’s bodyguard’s face said that the boy’s lack of self awareness was not anything new, and that perhaps such comments had even gotten the two of them in trouble in the past. Hermione frowned the entire time they waited, but didn’t say a word until he and the man with him left.</p><p>“Did you recognize him?” She said as Madam Malkin set to work on Harry’s robes.</p><p>“Should I have?” Harry asked, although he had to admit the name Fowl did seem familiar for some reason.</p><p>“Artemis Fowl the Second,” she said, her frown deepening. “His father is in charge of a criminal empire, and everyone knows that Artemis took over when his father went missing five years ago—when he was ten. And then, two years ago, Artemis went missing too, kidnapped, they said. He just showed back up again one day a few months ago in Ireland, even though he was kidnapped in Taiwan.”</p><p>Harry and Ron stared.</p><p>“Don’t you find him to be the least bit suspicious? He’s practically cut from the same cloth as Malfoy.”</p><p>“Why do you know all that stuff about him?” Ron asked, making a face at her.</p><p>“Oh, shut it, Ronald! I like to keep up with muggle news too, you know.” Hermione retorted, her cheeks flushing.</p><p>They finished getting fitted for their new robes talking about mundane topics like classes, but Harry’s heart wasn’t in it. He realized he had heard the Fowl name before on the news, talking about Artemis Senior’s disappearance five years prior. He was only ten at the time, catching what snatches of information he could while hiding his presence from the Dursleys, but he vaguely remembered the speculation about the things that Fowl was responsible for. As they left, Harry couldn’t help but say to the other two, under his breath, “You know, Hermione, I think you’re right. There’s something off about Artemis Fowl. He reminded me of…”<br/>Harry broke off, unsure of if he should finish his thought. It was farfetched even for some of the things that Harry had believed in the past.</p><p>“What, Harry?” Hermione said, coaxing his answer from him gently.</p><p>“Yeah, mate, you can tell us,” Ron agreed.</p><p>“He reminded me of Voldemort,” Hermione and Ron cringed when he said the name. “The one from the diary. They looked similar. Acted similar. And he’s already a criminal? I mean… Why would Dumbledore let him come to Hogwarts knowing that about him?”</p><p>“They haven’t been able to actually connect the Fowls to anything,” Hermione said. “It’s basically an open secret that they’re criminals.”</p><p>“Sounds a lot like some other people we know,” Harry muttered. He could guess which house Artemis would be ending up in, even if he was a muggleborn. “We should keep an eye on him. I mean, if he can get away with things as a muggle, imagine what he’ll do with magic. He could be the next Voldemort for all we know.”</p><p>—</p><p><br/>“I think,” Artemis said, skimming over the pages of A Beginner’s Guide to Tranfiguration once more. “that I am ready for the school year.”</p><p>“About time, Mud Boy, you’ve only got a few days left to practice before your train leaves,” Foaly said, for once present in the room with Artemis. He held a jury-rigged device in his hands that he had been thrusting in Artemis’s direction every time he made like he was going to wave his wand. To test for the magical signature of humans, he had explained sheepishly after Butler had nearly smashed it the first time he’d done so.</p><p>“And how far along are your new sensors?” Artemis said wryly in response, knowing that Foaly was still struggling to pick up on any magic other than that performed by him. He caught blips here and there, mostly small, isolated instances, but nothing consistent, and certainly nothing that pointed to the location of Hogwarts or any other particular magic hotspots.</p><p>Foaly swished his tail. “I have a theory about that, actually.”</p><p>“Do share.”</p><p>“You are aware that much of my technology is powered by magical batteries, including most of our cloaking technology.”</p><p>“I am,” Artemis said.</p><p>“Well, I’m beginning to think that human wizards must have some spells that have the same functionality. And naturally, those spells would be much more advanced than anything in your beginner’s school books.” Foaly motioned to the transfiguration textbook still in Artemis’s hands. “The spells I’ve been picking up bare similar signatures as the spells that I’ve monitored you practicing, but these cloaking spells...”</p><p>“Your sensor hasn’t been exposed to that magical signature and therefore cannot recognize it.”</p><p>“Right on the money.”</p><p>“So if I learn the spells used to shield Hogwarts, you’ll be able to scan for that magic.”</p><p>“It’s possible that I’ll only be able to pick up on spells as they’re being cast, but a simple recalibration should allow me to catch traces of older spells, and anything that’s meant to linger for a long time will certainly have them. It’s a matter of finding out what to look for.”<br/>Artemis hummed. “When Opal tried to expose the People, we found her cloaked shuttle by looking for an absence of the typical gases that make up the atmosphere.”</p><p>“You mean to say that perhaps the shielding spells will create some sort of gap we can look for?” Foaly asked.</p><p>Artemis nodded. “It’s certainly worth a shot.”</p><p>“I have to say, Mud Boy, I’m glad you’re on our side these days,” Foaly said, popping a cover off of his prototype and setting to work on wires within it. “This Voldemort fellow better watch his back now that Artemis Fowl is on the scene.”</p><p>“I would prefer not to draw his attention immediately if I can help it. I find that being targeted by megalomaniacs can be rather distracting.” Artemis said as he stood to pack his things. This would be his last trip to Haven before he departed for Hogwarts, and he felt a strange sense of homesickness knowing he wouldn’t see his friends again for a few months.</p><p>“Artemis,” Holly called from her desk where she had been ignoring the two geniuses. “Before you go, Foaly and I have something for you.”</p><p>“A gift?” Artemis said, raising his brows in surprise.</p><p>“Don’t look so shocked. You’d think you’d never received a present before this.” Foaly quipped without even looking up from the guts of his device. Artemis’s cheeks flushed a bit. Was he really becoming so predictable? Holly mercifully chose to ignore this.</p><p>“Yes, Artemis, a gift,” she said, offering him a small, brown box, the sides lined with holes. Artemis felt a sense of unease. Carefully, he took the box from Holly and lifted the lid.</p><p>To the amusement of the other occupants of the room, Artemis found within the box a fat, lumpy toad. The toad turned, looked Artemis in the eye, and spoke. “D’Arvit!”</p><p>Artemis blinked. “Did it just…?”</p><p>“Swear? Yes.” Holly said as Foaly snickered helplessly. She struggled to school her features into an appropriately benevolent smile. “It’s a swear toad. We saw you were allowed to take one pet with you and thought you should have a friend to keep you company while you’re at—at Hogwarts!”</p><p>She lost it then, and bent over in full-body laughter. Foaly stomped his hooves and pounded a fist on the table along with her. Artemis did not laugh, although if his friends had been looking they would have seen his lips twitch into the briefest of smiles.</p><p>“What a thoughtful gift,” He deadpanned. Artemis was not well versed on the social norms of wizards, but for some reason he got the feeling that toads were not considered particularly cool pets to have.</p><p>“Be careful with him. Swear toads are venomous. One bite and you’ll be swelling like a balloon.” Holly advised, wiping tears out of her eyes as she recovered from her fit. She still had a smile on her face, but her tone was not a joking one. Artemis held the box slightly farther from himself.</p><p>“I’ll keep it in mind.”</p><p>“Well, Mud Boy, what are you going to name him?” Foaly asked when he, too, recovered.</p><p>Artemis looked thoughtful for a moment. “Perhaps I will call him Heinrich.”</p><p>“And I suppose you have some reason for calling him that?” Holly said, bending close to inspect the toad, who turned to blink up at her.<br/>“None at all,” Artemis responded, in a tone that suggested he did, in fact, have a reason, but was withholding it from them. It was a petty revenge for the toad prank, but he would take what he could get.</p><p>“Oh alright, don’t tell us then,” Holly huffed. Then suddenly she became very serious. “We won’t be seeing each other again for some time, Mud Boy.”</p><p>“I’ll stay in touch,” Artemis said, wiggling the finger that his ring was on.</p><p>“Yes, of course, but… It’ll be strange to not have you around all the time,” Holly responded. “I’ll have a regular work schedule again without babysitting duty taking up all my time.”</p><p>Artemis gave a weak smile. “I’ll miss you too, Captain Short.”</p><p>Artemis finished packing his things then, saying his goodbyes to Holly and Foaly, and he and Butler departed Haven, returning to Fowl Manor for the last time before he started his term at Hogwarts.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Artemis stood on platform nine and three-quarters, his mother’s arms wrapped around his shoulders, his brothers clinging to his pant legs, and his father and Butler standing off to the side with his belongings, maintaining their composure admirably.<br/>   </p><p>“Promise us you’ll write home often, Arty,” His mother said. At his knees, Myles and Beckett chanted, “Tell us about the magic! Tell us about the magic!”<br/>   </p><p>“As I have already said multiple times, I’ll write as often as my schedule allows,” Artemis said with astounding patience in the face of all the nagging his family was doing. Admittedly, he found himself enjoying the attention he was receiving from them. “And I’ll send you both a blueprint of the school if I can manage it.”<br/>   </p><p>The boys cheered at this, finally freeing him from their grasp and running to instead climb up Butler.<br/>   </p><p>“Arty,” his father said, stepping close to put a hand on his shoulder, “I’m proud of you, son. Have fun at school. Try to make some friends, won’t you?”<br/>   </p><p>His father wanted nothing more than for Artemis to have a normal life—as normal as was possible for a teenage criminal genius that was recently revealed to be capable of magic, anyway. The sentiment was touching, but too little too late. If only Artemis Senior knew what his son knew of magic before he’d obtained his own. Artemis was anything but normal, and had no interest in trying to be. <br/>   </p><p>“I’ll try. But I won’t make any promises,” Artemis said. <br/>   </p><p>His father smiled ruefully. “I suppose that’s the best I can hope for, isn’t it?”<br/>   </p><p>Artemis smiled back. “Yes, it is.”<br/>   </p><p>“Well, I’ll take it, then,” Artemis Senior said, pulling Artemis Junior into a hug.<br/>   </p><p>This left Artemis with one last person to say his goodbyes too. Artemis turned to Butler. “I know you don’t like this, old friend, but I promise to keep my head low.”<br/>   </p><p>Butler grumbled. “You have a way of attracting trouble that I don’t see ‘keeping your head low’ stopping any time soon.”<br/>   </p><p>Artemis smiled. “Don’t worry about me too much while I’m away.”<br/>   </p><p>“Artemis, it is quite literally my job to worry about you. And for good reason.”<br/>   </p><p>“I know. I’ll miss you, Butler,” Artemis said.<br/>   </p><p>“I’ll miss you as well, sir.” Butler said in response. <br/>   </p><p>Artemis grabbed his trunk and the small glass tank that contained Heinrich and made his way to the train then, his family waving and shouting goodbyes to him as he went. He was sure that under normal circumstances that wouldn’t be something to warrant any head turning, but the train station had the same somber mood that pervaded Diagon Alley. Artemis felt terribly out of place, and wondered if perhaps he should have made a suggestion to his family that they not be so boisterous. Too late for that now, though. At least they had arrived early, so the crowds hadn’t quite gathered yet.<br/>  </p><p>Artemis struggled to drag his trunk aboard the train, having packed it as full as he could possibly manage (though if one asked anyone else, they would tell you that it didn’t matter how heavily packed the trunk was, Artemis wouldn’t have been able to easily lift it either way). <br/>  </p><p>Besides the regular necessities he’d gathered in Diagon Alley, he had packed a wealth of fairy equipment to make it easier for him to gather intel. Two sets of contacts, one which he currently wore that’s only function was to concealed his mismatched hazel eye as the pale blue that he naturally had and one of the iris-cam variety that, should they work in bounds of the castle grounds, would allow the People to see everything that he saw while wearing them. Foaly had managed to convince Wing Commander Vinyáya to lend Artemis a sheet of cam-foil and a moon-belt, although he couldn’t swing a weapon as part of the deal, which Butler had been not so secretly relieved about. Butler, having read the bit of Hogwarts, A History that detailed the Forbidden Forest, gifted Artemis a small survival kit that Artemis had absolutely no intention of ever needing to open. He himself had packed his laptop and the mirrored sunglasses he had made three years earlier. Though he knew that the magical concentration of Hogwarts prevented most technology from functioning, he had plans to outfit the machine with a magical battery of his own design in whatever spare time he managed to find. He also had a variety of goods he’d purchased from a joke shop in Diagon Alley that seemed to offer some use beyond a good laugh. <br/>   </p><p>Artemis was relieved to find an open compartment very nearby and claimed it immediately. Yet another perk of arriving early. That and the fact that there was no one to laugh at him when he almost dropped his trunk on his own head while hoisting it onto the luggage rack. Artemis flopped unceremoniously onto his seat to catch his breath, glaring at Heinrich, who’d had a few colorful words to say to Artemis while he was working on the trunk.<br/>   </p><p>“Don’t look so smug,” Artemis said to the toad with a huff. “I didn’t see you helping.”<br/>   </p><p>He missed Butler already.<br/>   </p><p>By now more students had arrived and the train was starting to fill up. A few heads turned to look into his compartment, considering joining him before moving on. No one on this train would know him besides Harry Potter and his friends, and Draco Malfoy from Madam Malkin’s, and Artemis doubted any of them would be clamoring to sit with him. He supposed that he would be stuck with either those who had no friends or some first years who had yet to make any. Artemis grimaced at the prospect. <br/>   </p><p>Eventually the train’s whistle blew, and shortly afterwards the train began to move. No one had joined him yet, and silently he hoped that maybe no one would. Alas, not even ten seconds after he had the thought, his compartment door slid open. To his surprise, there stood Harry Potter.<br/>   </p><p>Harry appeared reluctant for a moment, and behind him a round-faced boy peered over his shoulder into the compartment. Finally, he asked, “Do you mind if we sit here?”<br/>   </p><p>“Feel free,” Artemis replied. Harry came into the compartment then, followed by the round-faced boy and behind him, a blonde girl with eyes that seemed to stare dreamily beyond the compartment.<br/>   </p><p>“Who are you?” The new boy asked as Harry and the girl sat, sounding somewhat shy, or perhaps it would be more accurate to describe his tone as suspicious.<br/>   </p><p>“Artemis Fowl the Second,” Artemis said, offering his hand to the boy. The boy hesitated, looking at his hand, then to the toad in his lap before taking it.<br/>   </p><p>“Neville Longbottom. What’s your toad’s name?” Neville asked as he sat too. Artemis saw a toad poke its head out of Neville’s pocket.<br/>   </p><p>“His name is Heinrich,” Artemis responded, lifting the tank Heinrich was in so Neville could get a better look at him.<br/>   </p><p>“I know that one,” the girl said suddenly. “It’s a muggle fairy tale. The Frog Prince.”<br/>   </p><p>Harry frowned. “The frog is named Heinrich?”<br/>   </p><p>“It’s another name for the fairy tale,” Artemis explained. “The Iron Heinrich.  Although Heinrich is not himself the frog prince, but a servant who has three iron bands affixed around his heart to prevent it from breaking in his sadness over his master’s condition. Hence, The Iron Heinrich.”<br/>   </p><p>“My name is Luna by the way,” the girl introduced, apparently satisfied by Artemis’s knowledge of the fairy tale. “And Neville’s toad is named Trevor.”<br/>   </p><p>As Luna said this, the aforementioned toad decided to make a bid for freedom, leaping out of Neville’s pocket and onto the floor. Neville yelped and dived after him under the seat. As he did so, the three began conversing about some sort of club they held the previous year. Luna made a comment about friendship that clearly made Harry uncomfortable, but before he could respond a group of girls interrupted them, asking Harry to join them in their compartment, the leader of the group clearly implying as she did so that she thought he was sitting with a group of losers. Luna had freed an impressively colorful pair of glasses from the magazine she had brought into the compartment with her and was now wearing them, and Neville’s bottom was still sticking out from under the seat as he tried to recapture his pet. Artemis could hardly blame her for the impression they gave. But Harry became immediately cold.<br/>   </p><p>“They’re friends of mine,” he said, which shut the girl up quite sufficiently, and she withdrew from the room along with the gaggle of giggling girls she brought with her. <br/>   </p><p>“People expect you to have cooler friends than us,” said Luna, and Harry cringed a bit again.<br/>   </p><p>“I doubt Harry would be your friend if he didn’t think you were cool,” Artemis said, and Harry blinked at him.<br/>   </p><p>“Yeah,” Harry said. “Exactly. None of them was at the Ministry. They didn’t fight with me.”<br/>   </p><p>“That’s a very nice thing to say,” said Luna, smiling brightly before settling down to read her magazine. Neville popped out from beneath the seat finally, holding his toad in his hand and covered in dust.<br/>   </p><p>“So, why haven’t we seen you around before? You’re too old to be a first year.” Neville asked him as he sat down beside Luna.<br/>   </p><p>“I’m what you might call a late bloomer,” Artemis said.<br/>   </p><p>“What, you didn’t get your magic until now?” Neville asked.<br/>   </p><p>“Exactly that,” Artemis said. “I had no idea I was a wizard until I accidentally shattered a pendant light in my study earlier this year. Apparently it was the first time I’d ever shown any signs of magic.”<br/>   </p><p>“Wow,” Neville breathed. “And Gran thought I was a late bloomer.”<br/>   </p><p>Artemis smiled. “I imagine no one is as late as I am.”<br/>   </p><p>“Hey, you all right, Harry? You look funny,” Neville said suddenly, and Artemis turned to Harry. He did indeed look troubled.<br/>   </p><p>“Wrackspurt got you?” Luna cut in, sounding very serious despite the fact that she had just said a completely nonsense word.<br/>   </p><p>“I—what?” Harry asked.<br/>   </p><p>“A Wrackspurt… they’re invisible. They float in through your ears and make your brain go fuzzy,” she said. “I thought I saw one zooming around in here.”<br/>   </p><p>“How do you see them if they’re invisible?” Artemis asked, although he could think of a few methods himself. Still, none of them could be done with the materials available to him at the moment.<br/>   </p><p>“Oh, the Spectrespecs let you see them. Not very clearly, but they help.” Luna explained, pointing at the colorful glasses she wore. <br/>   </p><p>Artemis nodded as if that made perfect sense, and asked, “May I try them on?”<br/>   </p><p>The other two in the compartment looked at him as if he were insane, but Luna seemed very happy to have someone take her seriously. She took the Spectrespecs off and handed them to Artemis, who in turn put them on. They gave his surroundings a rose colored hue, which was quite the effect when layered with the amber tint that the fairy eyeball in his left socket gave the world. He didn’t see anything in the compartment, but still, he wondered if these glasses might be able to aid the wearer in spotting fairies or other invisible threats. He would have to test that in the future. Artemis took the Spectrespecs off and handed them back to Luna. “Thank you. That was very interesting.”<br/>   </p><p>Artemis remembered his father’s words earlier at King’s Cross Station then. Try to make some friends, won’t you? He supposed that it wouldn’t hurt to try now. If he could make friends with Harry’s friends, then he would stand a better chance of making friends with Harry, and Harry was his best bet of learning anything about the wizarding world that the ministry was trying to hide away from polite society. That or someone like Draco Malfoy, which was a more distasteful prospect than it might have been in years previous.<br/>   </p><p>“I have a pair of special glasses myself,” Artemis said, standing to rummage in his bag for the mirrored sunglasses. He thought that it might be something that interested Luna, if not the other two. He turned to show them to her. “They’re mirrored to protect the wearer against magic that requires eye contact.”<br/>   </p><p>“Where did you get something like that?” Neville asked curiously, examining the glasses as closely as Luna did, and even Harry leaned forward to look.<br/>   </p><p>“I made them,” Artemis said. <br/>   </p><p>“Whoa, and they work?”<br/>   </p><p>“I haven’t had a chance to test them, but the theory is sound,” Artemis said, a partial truth. He had tested them once before, against the fairy mesmer. He had no idea if they would work against human magic as well, but it stood to reason that the two kinds of magic would have more in common than they wouldn’t. If it required eye contact, then mirrored sunglasses should disrupt it enough to prevent it from working.<br/>   </p><p>As Artemis put the glasses away, Harry’s two friends from Diagon Alley arrived at the compartment. They stopped dead in their tracks when they saw Artemis standing there, then slowly took a seat by the door.<br/>   </p><p>They talked to Harry for a bit, telling him that Draco Malfoy was slacking off, apparently unusual behavior for him. Harry seemed particularly interested in the information, and tried to convince his friends to spy on the Slytherin student, speaking quietly as if trying to keep Artemis from listening. Soon, though, the idea fizzled away into nothing as the corridors were too full for them to sneak out, and they instead turned their attention to Artemis.<br/>   </p><p>“Got a toad, have you?” Ron asked, nodded to Heinrich’s tank. Heinrich turned to blink at Ron. Ron looked unimpressed.<br/>   </p><p>“Zark off!” Heinrich said indignantly. Ron shot up straight in his seat.<br/>   </p><p>“What the bloody hell?!”<br/>   </p><p>Artemis managed to look embarrassed, although if he were being honest he found the whole exchange to be amusing. “He’s done that ever since I got him.”<br/>   </p><p>“Does he ever say anything nice?” Luna asked.<br/>   </p><p>“I think he only knows vulgarity. Or at least, that’s all he’s ever demonstrated to me.” Artemis responded. Artemis was well aware that all Heinrich knew was swearing, but he couldn’t very well explain the taxonomy of a fairy breed of toads to them. “He’s also a bit venomous. I discovered that while my brother Beckett was playing with him and Heinrich bit him.”<br/>   </p><p>Another partial truth. Beckett did indeed find out the hard way that Heinrich was not to be handled directly, even if that wasn’t when Artemis found out.<br/>   </p><p>“You’ve got a brother?” Ron asked.<br/>   </p><p>“Two of them. Twins, Myles and Beckett.”<br/>   </p><p>Ron looked sympathetic then. “I know what that’s like.”<br/>   </p><p>A thought suddenly struck Artemis. “I assume the proprietors of Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes are who you’re talking about?”<br/>   </p><p>“Yeah. How’d you know about that?” Ron looked surprised by the idea that Artemis would be found in a place like that. Artemis smiled. “You went there?”<br/>   </p><p>“They have some incredible products for sale. The Skiving Snackboxes are ingenious.”<br/>   </p><p>“You can’t seriously be saying you bought one,” Hermione said, eyebrows furrowed disapprovingly.<br/>   </p><p>“Just one?” Artemis said with a smirk. “You never know when you’ll need to get out of class.”<br/>   </p><p>Hermione made a disgruntled noise at that, but before she could say anything, a girl burst into the compartment, holding messages for Neville and Harry. A professor, Slughorn, wanted to see them for lunch. The two departed from the compartment, leaving Artemis with Ron, Hermione, and Luna.<br/>   </p><p>Artemis found Luna the easiest of the three to converse with. For some reason Ron and Hermione kept giving him the cold shoulder, and he could only assume that they had done their research about him after he met them in Diagon Alley. The information they would have found would not paint a very good picture of him. Luna, on the other hand, had no idea who he was, and was open to talking to him. He often thought what she had to say treaded into the realm of the utterly nonsensical, but then again, most people would say a group of children riding a train to a boarding school that taught magic was nonsensical, wouldn’t they? Not to mention the idea that fairies lived below the earth’s surface with technology more advanced than anything humans had created. No, even if what she said didn’t have any backing now, that didn’t mean there was no basis for it in reality.<br/>   </p><p>“You know, you never explained to us how you’re in our year,” Ron said when afternoon began to drag on into evening. Perhaps he was just curious, or perhaps he wanted Luna to stop explaining Crumple-Horned Snorkacks to Artemis. <br/>   </p><p>“I told you, I’m older than I look,” Artemis said.<br/>   </p><p>“Yeah, I got that, but I mean did you used to go to a different school or something?” Ron said.<br/>   </p><p>“No. I only recently acquired my magic.” Artemis said. “I am to be given aptitude tests once we arrive at Hogwarts to see where my placement should be. And I have no doubt that I will be able to catch up to the rest of the sixth-years before the winter holidays.”<br/>   </p><p>“You must be joking,” Ron said. “That’s five years of magic you’re talking about! You’re going to learn all of it in one term?”<br/>   </p><p>“That is the plan, yes.” <br/>   </p><p>“What about your O.W.L.s?” Hermione asked very seriously. “That’s hardly enough time to prepare for them.”<br/>   </p><p>“I’ve already studied my textbooks extensively over the summer holiday, and I’m quite confident in my ability to learn the necessary spells. I am, after all, a genius.”<br/>   </p><p>“Oh, please,” Hermione muttered.<br/>   </p><p>“Artemis, since you’re new at Hogwarts, does this mean you’ll have to be sorted?” Luna asked, and Artemis wondered if it was a deliberate change of subject. Though she acted somewhat airheaded, she was surprisingly perceptive. <br/>   </p><p>“Yes, I assume so,” Artemis responded.<br/>   </p><p>“Oh, I bet you’ll be a Ravenclaw,” Luna said, smiling brightly. <br/>   </p><p>“I doubt it,” Artemis said. “Slytherin seems a much more likely fit for me.”<br/>   </p><p>Out of the corner of his eye, Artemis saw Ron and Hermione share a look. Luna looked disappointed. “Don’t say that. You don’t want to be Slytherin. Nobody likes them.”<br/>   </p><p>“Why is that?”<br/>   </p><p>“They’re all blood purist jerks and dark wizards!” Ron said heatedly.<br/>   </p><p>Artemis raised a brow. “Well, seeing as I’m a muggleborn, I don’t foresee myself following that path. It would be completely illogical.”<br/>   </p><p>Once more, their conversation was interrupted when Neville Longbottom reappeared at the compartment. Curiously, Harry was not with him.<br/>   </p><p>“Where’s Harry?” Hermione asked, looking concerned.<br/>   </p><p>“He just said he’d see us later and then disappeared under his Invisibility Cloak. Didn’t explain what he was doing at all.” Neville said.<br/>   </p><p>Ron and Hermione exchanged looks, perhaps coming to the same conclusion that Artemis was: Harry was spying on Draco just like he had wanted to do earlier. There was nothing to do about it now. If he was in their compartment they couldn’t very well come barging in looking for him and blowing his cover. Instead, the group changed into their school robes as they finally approached the Hogsmeade station, Neville telling Ron and Hermione about the meeting with Slughorn. Ron, Hermione, and Neville all left first, taking Harry’s trunk with them, and leaving just Artemis and Luna. <br/>   </p><p>“Luna, before you leave, may I borrow your Spectrespecs?” Artemis asked. <br/>   </p><p>“Of course,” Luna beamed at him as she handed the colorful glasses over. “I’ll see you at the castle.”<br/>   </p><p>By now the corridors had begun to clear out as students stepped out onto the platform. Artemis watched them all, looking up and down the corridors until finally he spotted Draco Malfoy leaving one of them. Artemis waited for Draco to disappear down the steps before dragging his trunk down the corridor to the compartment.<br/>   </p><p>He opened the door and stepped carefully inside, donning the Spectrespecs and taking a look around. He didn’t see anything, until he looked down. It wasn’t very specific, whatever he was seeing, but it was certainly something that wasn’t there when he took the glasses off. Artemis reached down, groping blindly around until his fingers curled into an unseen fabric. Artemis smiled and yanked the Invisibility Cloak away, revealing Harry Potter beneath, petrified and gushing blood from a broken nose. Artemis pulled out his wand and pointed it at Harry. </p><p>“Finite Incantatem.”<br/>   </p><p>Harry sat up immediately, wiping blood out from under his nose even as more took its place. Artemis reached into his trunk once more and after a bit of rummaging he found what he was looking for. <br/>   </p><p>“Here,” he said, handing Harry a Nosebleed Nougat. Harry took the nougat without question, apparently being familiar with the effects, and bit into the purple end hastily. The bleeding stopped before he had even finished chewing it. <br/>   </p><p>“Thanks,” Harry said finally, climbing to his feet. “But how’d you find me?”<br/>   </p><p>“It didn’t take a genius to figure out what you were up to when you didn’t return to the compartment with Neville.” Artemis responded, as he exited from the compartment, heading for the door. The train was almost completely deserted now. Artemis hoped that the rest of the students hadn’t already left for the castle. Harry followed. “All I had to do was check the compartment that Draco left to find you.”<br/>   </p><p>“…Why?” Harry asked as they stepped down onto the platform. Much to Artemis’s relief, the carriages and boats were all still there. <br/>   </p><p>“Should I have left you there to return to London?”<br/>   </p><p>“You could have. I thought that you of all people would have. But you didn’t.”<br/>   </p><p>Artemis hummed. “Sometimes people aren’t what you expect.”<br/>   </p><p>And with that, Artemis turned to join the first years on the trip across the lake, leaving Harry to join his friends at the carriages.</p><p>—<br/>   </p><p>Harry found the carriage occupied by Ron, Hermione, Neville, and Luna quickly and was pleased to change from his bloodied shirt into the school robes that his friends had pulled out from his trunk for him. Hermione was, naturally, worried about the blood, then furious when Harry explained what happened. Unfortunately, that fury didn’t seem to do anything to garner any support for his theory from her or Ron. <br/>   </p><p>When he was fully changed, his nose was mended and the blood cleaned up, Harry told his friends what Artemis had done. Ron, Luna, and Neville all seemed to find his actions quite admirable (“He asked to borrow my Spectrespecs before I left,” Luna said, “He must have used them to look for Wrackspurts by your head. How clever.”), but Hermione was unconvinced.<br/>   </p><p>“Come on, Harry, he obviously knows that people are easier to manipulate if they trust you. He was raised to know that. If he’s being nice to you it’s only because he knows that he can use you to access power, just like Slughorn and his Slug Club.”<br/>“Oh, so Fowl is up to something, but Malfoy isn’t?” Harry retorted indignantly. He knew she was probably right, but it frustrated him that she expected him to take her seriously when she wouldn’t do the same for him. <br/>   </p><p>“Oh, Harry, of course Malfoy could be up to something, but doesn’t it seem a bit far fetched that You-Know-Who would trust him with some important job when he’s not even of age yet?”<br/>   </p><p>“Yeah, mate, he was probably just showing off for Pansy Parkinson,” Ron added, although he shrunk back a bit when Harry turned his glare on him.<br/>   </p><p>“Fine. You’re right. It’s nothing to get worked up over.” Harry huffed. Then, under his breath he added, “Not like Fowl helping me on the train.”<br/>   </p><p>Hermione groaned and Ron said, “Harry… even Fowl said he’ll probably be in Slytherin. I mean… I’m glad he helped you out but Hermione’s right. He’s probably got some kind of ulterior motive.”<br/>   </p><p>Even Artemis thought he would be in Slytherin? As much as Harry appreciated the help from him on the train, he knew that Ron and Hermione were right. Fowl was not to be trusted. But why couldn’t they see that about Malfoy as well?<br/>   </p><p>The carriages arrived at the castle at last, the students piling out and into the Great Hall for the Sorting Ceremony. A cluster of tiny first years entered, followed by Artemis, who stuck out like a sore thumb and was certainly the object of some chatter among the students. After a song by the hat telling them to unite in the face of their enemies, the Sorting began. Harry barely paid attention as student names were called, up until McGonagall announced, “Fowl, Artemis!”<br/>   </p><p>The entire hall seemed to focus then, turning to watch the too-old-to-be-a-first-year boy walk up to the stool and sit down, straight backed, hands folded in his lap, as the Hat was placed upon his head.</p><p>—   </p><p>“Ooh, a conflicted one, aren’t you?” Artemis heard a voice say to him as the Sorting Hat was placed upon his head, barely covering his eyes in blackness.<br/>   </p><p><em> That certainly is one way of putting it. </em> Artemis thought. <br/>   </p><p>The Hat tutted. “Loyal to your friends, but in equal measures loyal to yourself. Smart, very smart. You’d fit in with Ravenclaw. But no… your intelligence is valuable to you, but it’s more of how you use it that matters.”<br/>   </p><p><em> This chatter is rather pointless, don’t you think? We both know where you’re going to put me. </em> Artemis thought at the Hat. <br/>   </p><p>“So sure it’ll be Slytherin, are you? Truth be told, you’d do well in any of the Houses. I sense bravery befitting Godric Gryffindor himself in you, loyalty and work ethic that would make Helga Hufflepuff proud, wit to rival Rowena Ravenclaw’s own. But it is Salazar Slytherin’s sly ambition and cunning that you place above all else?”<br/>   </p><p><em> It is as you said, </em> Artemis thought. <em> Those traits are valuable to me, but it is how I use them that matters. </em> <em> <br/></em> </p><p>“If that’s what you want then it better be SLYTHERIN!”<br/>   </p><p>There was hardly any cheering when Artemis was sorted, not even from the Slytherin table itself, which had made sure to make up for the lack of enthusiasm at the other tables for every first-year that they gained. Polite clapping came from the staff table, and among the scattered applause Artemis saw Luna sadly clapping for him as well. He smiled and discreetly waved as he took his seat at the Slytherin table among the sixth years. <br/>   </p><p>“How did we get stuck with this Mudblood freak?” the familiar voice of Draco Malfoy drawled. The other sixth years around him snickered.<br/>   </p><p>“That’s right, Fowl, I know all about you. I did some digging after we ran into each other in Diagon Alley. You haven’t got a single magical ancestor to your name, and on top of that you didn’t develop magic until you were nearly of age. How pathetic is that?” Draco sneered, and it took all of Artemis’s resolve not to sneer right back.<br/>   </p><p>“Perhaps if you weren’t so concerned with yourself you would have discovered that the Fowl line does in fact include a link to magic. Ah, but of course, there’s a reason you weren’t chosen for Ravenclaw, isn’t there?” Artemis retorted.<br/>   </p><p>A few students, the ones who weren’t the biggest fans of Draco, ooh’d at that, and Draco glared.<br/>   </p><p>“You could have a hundred magical ancestors hidden up your sleeve for all it matters, Fowl. You’re blood is as muddy as they come. Now, I’d watch my back if I were you.”<br/>   </p><p>Artemis raised a brow and looked unconcerned. “Watch my back? And I thought you could come up with something more creative than that.”<br/>   </p><p>The Sorting finished after that, and food appeared on their plates. The sixth years chatted together as if Artemis wasn’t there, and no one else in his House seemed anymore eager to talk to him than they did. That certainly complicated things for Artemis. He made a mental note to make sure his belongings were secure when they left the Great Hall for their dorm. <br/>   </p><p>Perhaps he should have asked the Hat to put him in Ravenclaw after all.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>It was my intention while writing this story to include Heinrich swearing at least once in every chapter—the catch being that his swears are all fictional, and from another fictional property. I have sprinkled a few other forms of profanity in there such as minced oaths, for padding, but otherwise there will be no fucks, shits, asses, or otherwise in this fic. Er, besides just then, that is.</p><p>Feel free to guess the origin of his swears in the comments. :) I had a lot of fun looking up lists of fictional swears for Artemis's warty friend.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Artemis’s first night at Hogwart’s almost passed without incident. Almost. In the early hours of the morning, however, Artemis was startled awake by the sound of pained shouting, followed by glass shattering. He threw open the curtain around his bed to find Vincent Crabbe clutching an already swollen hand. Heinrich was hopping under the bed of Draco Malfoy, who had his feet pulled up well out of the way of Heinrich’s teeth as the toad sped past, shouting “Belgium!” as he went.<br/>   </p><p>The tank he had resided in lay in pieces at Crabbe’s feet, knocked to the ground when the boy received a surprisingly painful bite from the toad he was planning on doing who knows what to. Apparently they couldn’t even wait a single night before trying to make Artemis’s life miserable.<br/>   </p><p>Artemis sighed and pulled his wand out from under his pillow, waving it at the remains of the tank and said, “Reparo!”<br/>   </p><p>The glass pieces jittered for a moment before flying together to reform the tank, good as new. Artemis picked it up off the floor, and set it back on the nightstand he had positioned Heinrich on originally that evening, then turned to give Vincent an unimpressed look. “If you wanted to hold him so badly, you should have asked. I could have warned you.”<br/>   </p><p>The way that Crabbe gaped at him after he spoke made Artemis believe that the sarcasm was lost entirely on him. He refrained from rolling his eyes as he stood up, striding confidently around Draco’s bed to find Heinrich making a mad dash for Gregory Goyle’s bed next. Artemis reached down and grabbed Heinrich, careful to hold him just behind the ears to keep him from turning and giving Artemis a swollen hand as well. All eyes were tracking him as he returned his toad to the tank, casting a few spells of protection on it after he did. <br/>   </p><p>Artemis turned and surveyed the room. Every bed’s curtains were open, and every boy’s eyes were watching him, wondering what he would do having caught Crabbe in the act of trying to harm his pet. They were expecting some sort of outburst presumably, but instead of theatrics, Artemis simply said, “I expect my toad to be exactly where I have left him when I wake up again.”<br/>   </p><p>Then he turned and climbed back into bed, closing his curtain and leaving Crabbe with a swollen hand and everyone else with an uneasy feeling about the repercussions they had yet to see played out. Like it or not, Artemis was a Slytherin, and they knew that as a Slytherin, he would not allow the transgression to go unpunished. <br/>   </p><p>But Artemis had no plan to retaliate. For one thing, he was quite satisfied knowing that Draco was most likely fuming at Crabbe’s failure, and that Crabbe would have a painfully swollen hand for the rest of the night. For another, he knew that the anticipation Draco and Crabbe would be feeling as they waited to see what he did would be much sweeter of a victory than any brought about by solid action. Artemis couldn’t help but smirk as he heard Crabbe’s footsteps retreat to his bed, and the rest of the bed curtains close again one by one.<br/>   </p><p>When Artemis next woke up, he found Heinrich in his tank, unharmed. Draco and his two lackeys had already left to get ready for the day, leaving him with Theodore Nott and Blaise Zabini. Neither of the two spoke to him as they prepared for their day, but they kept casting glances his way until they left for breakfast. <br/>   </p><p>Before Artemis left as well, he glanced over at the tank beside his bed, and the toad occupying it. The spells would help to keep him safe, it was true, but it would be foolish to think that his peers couldn’t break them. They were all attending a school of magic, after all. His stomach gave an odd flip at the idea of returning to find something terrible had happened to his pet while he was in class.<br/>   </p><p>Artemis reached into the tank and grabbed Heinrich, pocketing him on his way out of the dormitory. His robes were thankfully thick enough that the toad’s teeth couldn’t penetrate through to his skin. The toad let out a muffled <em> “batarnak!” </em> after trying. <br/>   </p><p>Breakfast went much the same as dinner had the night before. Artemis sat in the midst of his classmates, but not a single one made any attempt to speak to him. Frankly, he didn’t mind being ignored by them. He’d already made something akin to friends on the train, and he didn’t need any more of them. If only the shunning didn’t also come with harassment. <br/>   </p><p>Halfway through breakfast found Artemis being approached by the Slytherin Head of House, Severus Snape, timetable in hand. <br/>   </p><p>“Fowl,” the professor said, handing the timetable over. “You will be given your tests throughout this week to see where you should be placed. If you do as well as you seem to think you will, then you will finish the term by studying with the fifth year students and taking your O.W.L. examinations before the holidays. If not, you will begin your lessons at the lowest level you achieved, and work your way from there at the same pace as your peers.”<br/>   </p><p>“I’m familiar with the procedure, Professor,” Artemis said, taking the timetable from Snape to examine himself, turning from him dismissively. Snape raised a brow.<br/>   </p><p>“You would do well to show the staff some respect, Fowl. I would hate to have to take points from my own House, after all.” He said. The rest of the table quieted, listening to their Head of House scold one of their own, something that many had never witnessed before. When they recovered from the shock, they turned their glares on Artemis, who glanced around the table.<br/>   </p><p>“I apologize, Professor,” he said, not sounding even remotely apologetic. “I’ll be careful to watch my tone in the future.”<br/>   </p><p>“Very well,” Snape said quietly after a moment, clearly deciding that he had better things to do than pursue a disrespectful Slytherin. Artemis’s lips twitched briefly. Ah, favoritism. <br/>   </p><p>He examined his timetable then, and saw that his tests were spread evenly throughout the week, probably to pair him up to each professor’s free period. Today he had Potions with Professor Slughorn, followed by Charms with Professor Flitwick. Charms posed no problems, but Potions was a subject he had been unable to truly practice over the summer, having no ingredients or tools with which to brew. On top of that, Potions resembled the act of cooking far too much for Artemis’s comfort. He had done his best to study the recipes and the theory, but theory would only take him so far. Now he had to actually do it. </p><p>—<br/>   </p><p>As it turned out, Artemis had nothing to worry about. Cooking, as it were, was easy when you had directions to follow, and even more so when you had already extensively studied why certain things worked the way they did. He did well enough, in fact, that he had gained himself an invitation to Slughorn’s little club. <br/>   </p><p>The rest of his tests went even better, given that the majority of them were things he had been able to actually practice. Exactly as he had expected, he was being allowed to study with the fifth years until he could take his O.W.L.’s.<br/>   </p><p>His week would have been perfect, if not for the continued harassment from the other Slytherins. His fellow sixth years might have been reluctant to bully him, but that didn’t mean the rest of the Slytherins were as well. Halfway through the week his possessions began disappearing, only to reappear in inconvenient or downright embarrassing locations. His food would have something less than appetizing appear in it when he wasn’t looking, and he found himself dodging the odd jinx in the corridors. <br/>   </p><p>One morning Artemis awoke and nearly stepped on a snake that was coiling around on the floor beside his bed. He glanced up to see Draco leaving with a smirk, the unofficial truce finally over. Artemis waited until the rest of the Slytherins had gone as well before relocating it into Draco’s bed. His Gift of Tongues came in handy then, helping him to convince the snake to stay put until Draco returned for the night. At the very least, Heinrich no longer seemed to find his life in danger now that he was always in Artemis’s presence, although his swearing had startled both professors and students on more than one occasion, and nearly resulted in Artemis receiving a detention during his Transfiguration testing.<br/>   </p><p>Artemis spent as much of his free time as possible in the Library, the one place that he seemed to find respite from his peers in, and before long company began to join him in the form of Luna Lovegood and Neville Longbottom. Both of them had experienced their fair share of bullying and were sympathetic.<br/>   </p><p>“I’m beginning to think that you were right, Luna. I should have asked the Hat to put me in Ravenclaw. Then, at least, I would have one friend in my House.” Artemis said. It was Friday, and his final examination had been completed already, so rather than books open before him to study he had parchment to write letters home on.<br/>   </p><p>“I would have liked that,” Luna said, smiling. “But you were right, Artemis, you really do belong in Slytherin. I imagine the look on Draco’s face when he found the snake was funny.”<br/>   </p><p>“Yeah, Artemis,” Neville added. “Most Slytherins are jerks, but… it’s good to have someone nice in there to remind us they aren’t all bad.”<br/>   </p><p>“I appreciate that,” Artemis said, smiling. It felt strange to have people he would call friend his own age, or close to it. Butler’s sister, Juliet, was the closest, and she was still old enough that he hardly thought peer was the right word to describe her. Most of his friends had decades, if not centuries, on him. But here were two people his own age who he could actually relate to. <br/>   </p><p>“How did your tests go?” Luna asked.<br/>   </p><p>“Very well. I’ve been given the go ahead to join the fifth years for the rest of term. I suppose that means I will be seeing you in class, Luna.” Artemis said.</p><p>“Wow! Just like you said you would on the train.” Luna exclaimed. “What does your schedule look like?” <br/>   </p><p>Artemis handed his new schedule over to Luna for examination. “I’ll be taking my O.W.L.’s the week before the holidays. After that I will be having class with the sixth years.”<br/>   </p><p>“How did you manage to do so well, Artemis?” Neville gaped at him. “You haven’t had a chance to do any magic until this week!”<br/>   </p><p>Artemis raised a brow and glanced around to see if they were alone. “Would you like to know a secret?”<br/>   </p><p>Neville leaned in closer, eyes wide with curiosity, and although Luna was still comparing their schedules, she too seemed attentive. Artemis leaned in as well.<br/>   </p><p>“I found a way around the Trace.”<br/>   </p><p>Neville gasped. “How?!”<br/>   </p><p>Artemis smiled. “It turns out it has a range. If you get far enough away… there’s no record of magic use. I’ve been practicing magic all summer. Of course that didn’t hold for every subject, but I managed to work off my theoretical knowledge well enough to scrape together a passing grade for those subjects I couldn’t get firsthand experience in.”<br/>   </p><p>Artemis was sure that if you asked Professor Slughorn he had done more than just scrape together his pass, but Holly and Butler were always ribbing him to show more humility. Neville did seem the sort to appreciate that trait in people. <br/>   </p><p>“We have Astronomy, Care of Magical Creatures, and Herbology together,” Luna announced. <br/>   </p><p>“Excellent. I wasn’t looking forward to Herbology. At least now I know I’ll have one friend in there.” Artemis said. <br/>   </p><p>“You don’t like Herbology?” Neville asked, sounding a little disappointed.<br/>   </p><p>“I prefer not to get my hands dirty,” Artemis responded. <br/>   </p><p>“Why’d you sign up for Care of Magical Creatures? You know that’s all hands on, right?”<br/>   </p><p>“My brothers would have been disappointed had I not. I wouldn’t hear the end of it from them if I didn’t take it,” Artemis said, and that was partly true. His brothers really did want him to take Care of Magical Creatures, but it wasn’t just for them that he had put it on his schedule. He thought the fairies might also be interested to know how the wizarding world treated the least among them. <br/>   </p><p>“You also have Defense Against the Dark Arts, History of Magic, Potions, and Transfiguration with the Gryffindors, Artemis,” Luna said, finally sliding his schedule back to him. “Ginny Weasley is in Gryffindor. She’s a friend of mine. I think you would like her.”<br/>   </p><p>“No relation to Ron Weasley, I presume,” Artemis said wryly.<br/>   </p><p>“Oh yes, she’s Ron’s younger sister,” Luna said, having either not caught the sarcasm or having chosen to ignore it. “She’s always been nice to me.”<br/>   </p><p>“Perhaps she will extend the same courtesy to me,” Artemis said. “Although I got the feeling that Ron didn’t particularly like me.”<br/>   </p><p>“I think you remind him of Malfoy,” Neville said quietly, then hastily added, “Not that I think you’re like him!”<br/>   </p><p>“No, it’s alright. I can see where one might get that impression of me.” Artemis conceded. “And perhaps if we knew each other when I was younger it might have been true.”<br/>   </p><p>“Why did you change?” Luna asked in her dreamy voice. And wasn’t that the question? Why did Artemis Fowl change? Why did he stop being the selfish boy who valued money more than people? The answer was really quite simple.<br/>   </p><p>“I suppose it’s because I made some friends who were very good influences on me.” He said.<br/>   </p><p>Artemis finished penning his letters home, absently chatting and helping Neville and Luna with their homework as he did until he had nothing left to write. He told his family about his first week of school, his successful examinations, and pointedly informed his father of the friends he had already made. Of course, he left out the part about his own Housemates hating him, but he’d had plenty of opportunity to complain about that in the letter he had written in Gnommish to Holly and Foaly. If Butler found out he would probably have half a mind to put his covert ops skills to use finding Hogwarts and setting the rest of the Slytherins straight. <br/>   </p><p>Artemis bid his friends farewell and made his way to the Owlery. It took nearly a half an hour for him to find it, even with the help of some friendly portraits. As soon as he arrived, he heard a loud hoot echo around the tower.<br/>   </p><p>“Artemis Fowl!” the familiar hoot called. A moment later an eagle owl swooped down from the high rafters above, then perched in a nearby cubby. Artemis smiled.<br/>   </p><p>“Hello Celeste,” he said.<br/>   </p><p>“You’re late,” she responded. “I saw the train come days ago.”<br/>   </p><p>“I apologize,” Artemis said. “I didn’t realize how late we would be arriving, and I’ve been quite busy this week with my placement tests. I would have come sooner if I could.”<br/>   </p><p>Celeste considered this, clicking her beak thoughtfully.<br/>   </p><p>“I brought you a present, if it makes a difference,” Artemis said, pulling an Eeylops Premium Owl Treat from his pocket for her. Celeste took it without hesitation, swallowing it down as if it were a mouse. <br/>   </p><p>“I forgive you, human,” she said. “I see you’ve brought letters.”<br/>   </p><p>“I have. To be sent home, to Fowl Manor,” he responded. Celeste gave a hoot of displeasure.<br/>   </p><p>“Why do you live so far away?” she complained. <br/>   </p><p>“I don’t have a good answer for that,” Artemis said. “Or at least, not a short one.”<br/>   </p><p>“Fair enough,” Celeste said. She stuck her leg out for Artemis so he could tie the bundle of letters to it.<br/>   </p><p>“Take them all to Butler for me,” Artemis explained. “He’ll be the biggest one there, with a shaved head. Don’t give them to anyone else.”<br/>   </p><p>“Worried they’ll see something they shouldn’t, are you, human?” Celeste responded wryly.<br/>   </p><p>“I have some friends I’d rather my family not know about,” Artemis said. “If you do it right I’ll give you another treat when you get back.”<br/>   </p><p>“How could I say no to that?” the owl said, and if she could Artemis would bet she would have rolled her eyes at him. “You know that all the post is checked, don’t you?”<br/>   </p><p>“I am aware. There’s nothing in there that I am afraid of being seen.” Or at least, the things that he would rather prying eyes didn’t see was coded in Gnommish and disguised to look like Artemis was asking for help with his Ancient Runes homework. He knew who on staff was checking the mail and had no reason to believe that he would suspect anything of the strange script when put into that context.<br/>   </p><p>“Very well then. I will see you in a few days, presumably loaded down with the responses of your loved ones.” Celeste said. “Shall I wait so your friends-you’d-rather-your-family-not-know-about have a chance to reply as well?”<br/>   </p><p>Artemis smiled. “I would appreciate that.”<br/>   </p><p>“You’re lucky your property has such delicious rabbits on it,” Celeste responded, and before Artemis could tell her goodbye she spread her wings and flew out the window. </p><p>—<br/>   </p><p>Minerva McGonagall frowned at the test results before her for what felt like the hundredth time that evening. They were the final score achieved by Artemis Fowl in his Transfiguration aptitude test, and much to Minerva’s displeasure, he had passed with flying colors. It wasn’t that she wanted him to fail or fall behind his peers, of course, but rather that it just wasn’t realistic. There were no faults to be had with his exam answers or his spellwork. Not a single mistake to hold him back. That kind of perfection should have been impossible for anyone who had never done a single bit of magic before that moment to achieve, no matter how much they read the theory and particularly with a subject as tricky as Transfiguration. She could only come to one conclusion: Artemis Fowl found a way around the Trace. <br/>   </p><p>With a sigh, Minerva stood, picking up the parchment and bringing it with her to the Headmaster’s Office. The corridors were nearly empty at the late hour as curfew approached. Minerva made it to the gargoyle statue unimpeded.<br/>   </p><p>“Acid Pops,” she said clearly to the statue, and when she did it sprang to life, hopping out of the way and granting her access to the stairs that led to the Headmaster’s Office. She gave a curt knock before pulling the door open, and was shocked to find that she was not the only one visiting Albus that evening. Severus Snape stood before Albus’s desk, head turned to Minerva and eyebrow raised at her rude intrusion. <br/>   </p><p>“Severus,” She greeted. “Albus. I wanted to speak to you, if you aren’t too busy…?”<br/>   </p><p>“Not at all, not at all,” Albus responded, motioning her to join Severus. “What brings you here this evening, Minerva?”<br/>   </p><p>“It’s about Fowl, I’m afraid,” Minerva said, approaching the desk and setting the parchment in front of Albus. She pursed her lips. “His results were perfect. Not a single mistake. A feat like that should be impossible for someone who has never performed a single spell before.”<br/>   </p><p>Albus appeared serious at that. “Severus was telling me much the same about Master Fowl’s Defense Against the Dark Arts exam.”<br/>   </p><p>“The only spell that he could not perform was the Patronus charm,” Severus said. “Which, as that is not a required spell, means his marks were perfect in my class as well.”<br/>   </p><p>“You must know what this means, Albus,” Minerva said.<br/>   </p><p>“Severus and I were just discussing that. He has clearly found some way around the Trace to practice magic.” Albus responded.<br/>   </p><p>“He has no respect for authority figures,” Severus added. “nor for the rules, and he’s not afraid to flaunt it.”<br/>   </p><p>“Otherwise he would have at least made a show of struggling,” Minerva concluded with a nod. “I don’t like this, Albus. What should we do?”<br/>   </p><p>“I’m afraid there is nothing we can do,” Albus said. “We cannot prove that Artemis Fowl performed underage magic outside of school.”<br/>   </p><p>“We need to keep an eye on him at least, given his family history,” Minerva said sharply. “Even if he is not the next Dark Wizard in the making, we cannot allow him to get away with eschewing authority so blatantly.”<br/>   </p><p>“Severus, perhaps as his Head of House you could talk some sense into him,” Albus said, eyes twinkling playfully. Something told Minerva that even Albus didn’t think that Severus could do so.<br/>   </p><p>“I can certainly try,” Severus sighed. “I am beginning to believe that Master Fowl was sorted into my house by mistake. Clearly he belongs with the Gryffindors.”<br/>   </p><p>“Excuse me, Severus,” Minerva said, “But what, exactly, is that supposed to mean?”<br/>   </p><p>“Nothing at all, Minerva,” Severus said dismissively and strode to the door. “If you have no further need of me…?”<br/>   </p><p>“You may go, Severus,” Albus said, and Severus left, his robes billowing around his legs as he went.<br/>   </p><p>Minerva sighed heavily and fell into a chair before Albus’s desk. “I don’t suppose anyone else has brought you these concerns?”<br/>   </p><p>“They have not,” Albus confirmed. “But I have heard many good things from Horace.”<br/>   </p><p>"One of the few classes Fowl did not achieve perfect marks in,” Minerva said wryly. “But still well enough that Horace cannot seem to shut his mouth about it.”<br/>   </p><p>“Along with Herbology and Care of Magical Creatures,” Albus said with a small shake of his head. “The only classes he would not have been able to fully prepare for over the summer.”<br/>   </p><p>“How do you think he did it?” Minerva asked thoughtfully. “How did he get around the Trace?”<br/>   </p><p>“I believe, Minerva, that the answers to that question will become clear with time,” Albus replied.<br/>   </p><p>“You haven’t the foggiest idea, do you?”<br/>   </p><p>“Not at all.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Artemis is canonically terrible at cooking, which should translate as terrible at potions as well, but I posit it is not the cooking itself that Artemis is bad at, it's the improvisation. Every time a part of his plan go awry and he needs to improvise he does so by... sitting down and meditating on it, while everyone around him panics. If given a recipe to work from, I like to think his cooking (and potions!) would be passable. At the very least less of an "explosion on a plate" and more of an edible food item, you know?</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>Dear Holly,</span>
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    <span>I hope this letter finds you well. My classes thus far are proving to be more of a challenge than I anticipated. If you would be willing to lend me some of your expertise in the study of ancient runes I would appreciate the favor.</span>
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  <span>Foaly snorted as he read Artemis’s letter over Holly’s shoulder. “Challenging, my behind! Artemis hasn’t struggled with anything a day in his life.”</span>
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  <span>Holly jerked the parchment away from Foaly’s prying eyes, turning a light-hearted glare on him. “The rest is written in Gnommish, genius.”</span>
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  <span>Her eyes turned back to scan the page, then added, “See, right here,” She tapped the parchment. “He says the mail is being checked, so he coded his letter to avoid suspicion.”</span>
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  <span>“Whoever is checking must not know Artemis very well if they think he would need anyone’s help with his homework,” Foaly said, then started for the door.</span>
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  <span>“What? Done looming over my shoulder?” Holly asked.</span>
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  <span>“Eh, I’ll get the highlights from you later. I have work to do.” he said. </span>
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  <span>“Good riddance, centaur,” Holly said.</span>
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  <span>“Likewise, elf,” Foaly responded, then exited, leaving Holly alone. She continued reading Artemis’s letter.</span>
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    <span>As expected, I completed all of my aptitude tests and passed at the highest possible levels in all but Potions, Care of Magical Creatures, and Herbology. Still, my marks were high enough that I will be continuing on with the fifth year students. This will certainly make it easier for me to investigate. </span>
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    <span>I have been placed in Slytherin House, just as we predicted I would be. The sorting was done by some sort of animated hat that apparently read my mind and drew from my thoughts and experiences to decide. Though to be fair to the hat and its judgment, I did tell it that is where I wanted to be. At the time it didn’t seem like a bad choice, but now I have to admit I am regretting it. My housemates have not been particularly welcoming. Apparently as a “Mudblood freak” I am hurting the house’s reputation. A reputation for producing dark witches and wizards. Nearly all of my housemates have some connection to Voldemort, whether it is through their parents, aunts and uncles, or family friends. Harry Potter seems to believe that Draco Malfoy, the rude teenager Butler and I met in Diagon Alley, is working directly for Voldemort at this point. This would certainly be worth following up on, if only Draco could spend more than five minutes in my presence without insulting me, my family, my friends, and my abilities as a wizard. </span>
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    <span>A friend—yes, a friend, I have made some, believe it or not—in Gryffindor, Neville Longbottom, says that he thinks I remind some of the other students of Draco, and that is why they don’t like me. I suppose the fact that I am forced to share my living quarters with him is just karma. I feel compelled to apologize to you again for my past. If I was truly this obnoxious then I admire your patience with me. </span>
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    <span>Speaking of Neville, he and Luna Lovegood, a girl in Ravenclaw, are both friends of Harry. Hopefully they will put in a good word with him and one day I’ll be able to have a conversation with him without any accusations of being a dark wizard being tossed around. I helped Harry with a situation on the train and even then he was suspicious of me. Admittedly, I was hoping that by making myself useful to him he would be more trusting, but really, isn’t that just how one makes friends? Harry and Draco are both my best bets of learning anymore information about Voldemort and the Death Eaters, and frankly I would rather befriend Harry than Draco. Even if I were as unscrupulous as I once was, I’m not sure I could stand being around him long enough to learn anything. During my Defense Against the Dark Arts examination, Professor Snape asked me to produce a Patronus Charm, which was not part of the expected curriculum, thus I was unable to. According to Neville and Luna, Harry knows how to produce one, and he is responsible for teaching both them and several other students the charm. Perhaps I can use this as an in to talk to Harry. </span>
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    <span>I haven’t had a chance to look at any of my electronics yet, but I brought my laptop along to try and outfit it with a magical battery to enable it on Hogwarts grounds. If Foaly has any information on creating such a battery that he would be willing to share, I would appreciate it immensely. I never thought of myself as someone who was addicted to technology, but I would be lying if I said the fact that I haven’t been able to check my emails and stocks has left me feeling antsy. It would also make communications easier if I didn’t have to work around these mail checks. Soon I’ll need to test my omnisensor to make sure that it works at Hogwarts. Expect a call sometime in the near future.</span>
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  <span>Holly couldn’t help but smile at the letter. Artemis sounded almost like a regular teenager, complaining about his housemates and talking about how he missed the internet. What a novel experience. Below the Gnommish writing he added in English:</span>
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    <span>Thank you again for the consideration. Any help you can provide will certainly aid in my studies.</span>
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    <span>Sincerely,</span>
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    <span>Artemis Fowl</span>
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  <span>Under his name, Artemis had added in a somewhat more hasty script:</span>
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    <span>P.S. If you plan to write back, do it soon. I won’t hear the end of it from Celeste if you make her wait around needlessly for your reply.</span>
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<p><span>If Holly remembered correctly, Celeste was the owl that had first brought Artemis his letter of acceptance. Apparently, counting Neville and Luna, he had made three friends at the school. He really was growing up, wasn’t he?<br/><br/><br/></span><span>Holly reached out across her desk and grabbed some paper, regular fairy printer paper, not parchment which she hoped was okay, and began to pen a reply. The Gift of Tongues wasn’t meant to be used for script, but if a fairy strained hard enough, they could certainly use it that way. Holly started her letter in English, squinting at the paper as she did.</span><span><br/></span><span><br/><br/></span><em><span>Dear Artemis,</span></em><em><span><br/></span></em><em><span><br/><br/></span></em><em><span>Finally admitting that there are things I know more about than you, eh? I would be happy to help you with your homework, if only because I will be able to lord this over your head for some time.</span></em> <span><br/></span><span><br/></span></p>
<p>
  <span>—</span>
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  <span>Halfway through the second week of classes, Harry sat to the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall, overwhelmed by the amount of homework already assigned. Beside him, Ron was complaining between bites of lunch. Harry mostly tuned him out. He came out of it a moment later when Ginny sat to his other side, a look in her eye that told him she had gossip to share.</span>
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  <span>“I just had History of Magic with Artemis Fowl,” she said. “He got a detention.”</span>
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  <span>Ron shut up instantly. “Fowl got a detention?”</span>
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  <span>“Oh yes,” Ginny said. “Halfway through lecture he interrupted Binns to tell him he was a hack.”</span>
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  <span>Ron nearly choked then.</span>
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  <span>“You must be joking,” Harry said.</span>
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  <span>Ginny smirked in response. “He said that Binns should be ashamed for making us sit through boring, biased lectures when we could be listening to first hand accounts from other ghosts.”</span>
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  <span>“Well… He’s not wrong,” Ron agreed reluctantly. “Those lectures are pretty boring.”</span>
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  <span>“Nearly Headless Nick has always been more interesting to listen to than Binns,” Harry said. “But can you imagine a lecture by The Bloody Baron?”</span>
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  <span>The three shuddered at the thought. </span>
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  <span>“I can’t believe it though,” Ron said. “I mean, I knew he was a bit of a git, but I figured he’d just tune the lesson out like the rest of us.”</span>
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  <span>“I can’t imagine getting a detention from Binns of all professors.” Harry remarked. Last year he’d had to retrieve an injured Hedwig from the classroom window and had gone totally unnoticed by the ghost. Artemis must have been really disruptive to make Binns give him a detention over it.</span>
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  <span>“Don’t you have Defense Against the Dark Arts with him, too?” Ron asked. Ginny nodded with a knowing smile on her face. “You have to tell us what that’s like. I never thought I’d live to see the day where Snape might actually take points from Slytherin.”</span>
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  <span>When Harry arrived at Snape’s office for detention Saturday night, the last person he expected to see was Artemis Fowl. </span>
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  <span>“What are you doing here?” He asked out loud before he could think better of it. </span>
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  <span>Artemis, who Harry imagined would have raised a brow at him had he not been busy eyeing the barrel of flobberworms that sat in the middle of the room with disgust, responded, “Detention. I was under the impression that Ginny had already told you.”</span>
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  <span>“I thought that was with Binns,” Harry said, and wondered how Artemis had found out about that. Was he watching them at lunch the other day? “How did you know—?”</span>
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  <span>“Luna told me,” Artemis said before Harry could finish the question. “As for Binns, he handed me off to Snape for discipline. So we’ll be dealing with this,” Artemis’s lip curled a bit and he motioned to the flobberworms, “together.”</span>
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  <span>“That will be enough chitchat,” Snape swooped in from the doorway, bat-like as ever and voice cool. “I expect you to have that entire barrel sorted before you leave tonight. That shouldn’t be a difficult task, between the two of you.”</span>
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  <span>Neither of the teens responded, sullenly moving towards the barrel to begin sorting. Artemis moved through the task much slower than Harry, scowling and sneering at every worm he picked out of the barrel. Harry said nothing. In fact, he did his best to tune his company out. Being alone—or nearly alone—with Artemis made his mind wander back to the train, to Artemis helping him after Malfoy stunned him and left him under his cloak. What did Artemis stand to gain from that? Did he even want anything at all? Or were his perceptions of Artemis wrong?</span>
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  <span>“Harry,” A sudden whisper made Harry jump, pulling him from his thoughts. Artemis was staring at him, and he felt his cheeks color a bit in embarrassment. Artemis continued as if nothing happened. “I’ve been meaning to ask you something.”</span>
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  <span>“Oh, yeah?” Harry said, reluctant to pursue this conversation. Any conversation with Artemis Fowl, really.</span>
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  <span>“Neville and Luna told me that you taught them how to produce a Patronus,” Artemis said, pulling another rotten worm out of the barrel and throwing it in his significantly smaller pile.</span>
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  <span>“…Yeah, I did,” Harry confirmed. </span>
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  <span>“I was wondering if perhaps you would be willing to teach me, as well,” Artemis said, and Harry dropped the flobberworm he had been holding.</span>
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  <span>“What?” he asked incredulously. “You want me to teach you?”</span>
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  <span>“Quiet,” Snape drawled from his desk. “This isn’t your social hour, Potter, this is detention.”</span>
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  <span>The two went silent for a time.</span>
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  <span>“It seems like a prudent thing to know in these times.” Artemis said after he was sure Snape had stopped paying attention again, voice low.</span>
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  <span>“Yeah, but… Why me?” Harry asked, grabbing a handful of worms from the barrel without looking. Harry’s eyes were on Artemis, watching him, trying to see if he was attempting to deceive him somehow.</span>
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  <span>“Who else should I ask? You obviously know it best, to be teaching it to your classmates.” Artemis said. “Or do you think I should ask one of my housemates to teach me?”</span>
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  <span>Harry didn’t respond. Of course that’s what he thought. He didn’t want anything to do with any Slytherins, and Slytherins wanted nothing to do with him. Didn’t Artemis get the memo?</span>
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  <span>Artemis only smiled wryly at his silence. “You might be shocked to learn that I am not the most popular among my housemates.”</span>
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  <span>“I… suppose I could teach you,” Harry said reluctantly. Quickly, he added, “If I’ve the time. I’m really busy this year. Lots of homework already.”</span>
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  <span>“You know, if you ever need help with your homework…”</span>
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  <span>Harry gave Artemis a skeptical look. “You can help me with my homework? No offense, Artemis, but you’re doing fifth year work right now, and the stuff I’m doing is pretty advanced.”</span>
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  <span>“Please, Harry,” Artemis responded, rolling his eyes. “I’m only doing fifth year work because the ministry wasn’t willing to set up a special examination time for me to take my O.W.L.’s any sooner than December. My placement scores were more than enough to have me doing the sixth year work.”</span>
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  <span>Harry furrowed his brow. “Why don’t you teach the spell to yourself then, if you’re so far ahead already?”</span>
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  <span>“I’ve tried. It’s incredibly complex magic. I’m afraid that this is something I will need a helping hand with.” Artemis said.</span>
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  <span>Harry sighed. He already had Hermione to help with homework, but even she was becoming swamped by her classes. Part of him doubted that Artemis would be able to help, but then he remembered that Neville had been getting help from him, and he had been getting decent marks so far. Besides, hadn’t they decided they needed to keep an eye on Artemis? This would be the perfect cover for just that, and if Artemis wasn’t on friendly terms with Malfoy then perhaps he could even get some dirt on him too.  “Patronus for homework then, huh? I guess that sounds fair.”</span>
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  <span>“Then we have ourselves a deal?” Artemis smiled and stuck his slime-covered hand out to Harry to shake. Harry felt like he was about to strike a deal with the devil himself, but still, he took the offered hand and shook.</span>
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  <span>“It’s a deal.”</span>
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  <span>“Did you not hear me the first time, Potter? Enough talking, or I’ll have you back here again next week.”</span>
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  <span>—</span>
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  <span>The next morning Harry found himself in the common room recounting the events of his detention to Ron and Hermione, who were having very different reactions to the news that he would be tutoring Artemis.</span>
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  <span>“That’s brilliant, mate! That’ll make spying on him all the easier.” Ron said, echoing Harry’s own reasoning for striking the deal the night before. “He’ll probably know things about what the other Slytherins are up to as well.”</span>
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<p>
  <span>“It’s bloody stupid, is what it is. You’re playing right into Artemis’s hands like that.” Hermione said, much less agreeably. “And besides, you don’t need him for help. I could have helped you.”</span>
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<p>
  <span>“Hermione, let’s face it. You’re swamped with your own work. And besides, Neville’s told us Artemis is helping him with his homework, and he’s been doing better in his classes than ever.” Harry said, and Hermione huffed. She clearly knew he was right, but she wasn’t happy about it. </span>
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<p>
  <span>“Why is Neville hanging out with him, anyway?” Hermione said, changing the subject. “I would have thought he of all people would be able to see that Artemis is not to be trusted.”</span>
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<p>
  <span>“A better question is, why does Artemis hang out with Neville? I would have thought he’d see that as beneath him. I mean, no offense to Neville, but…” Ron said.</span>
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<p>
  <span>“He hangs out with Luna too,” Harry said. He knew why Neville and Luna got along, having dealt with their fair share of bullying. It gave them a little more sympathy for one another, and something to commiserate over. What could Artemis possibly have in common with either of them?</span>
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</p>
<p>
  <span>A sudden realization dawned on him. “You know, Artemis told me during our detention that he wasn’t very popular among the other Slytherins.”</span>
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<p>
  <span>“Do you think he’s being bullied, Harry?” Hermione said skeptically.</span>
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</p>
<p>
  <span>“I wouldn’t put it past Malfoy,” Harry returned. He felt a pang of something at the thought. Maybe Artemis really did genuinely just want to be friends. </span>
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<p>
  <span>“Oh, don’t make that face, Harry,” Hermione said. “Just remember who you’re dealing with. It’s much more likely that he befriended Neville and Luna to get to you than it is because he’s being bullied.”</span>
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<p>
  <span>As she said this, Harry recalled the train, telling Romilda Vane off for presuming that Neville and Luna weren’t his friends. Artemis was there for that, had commented when Luna said they weren’t cool friends. Of course Hermione was right again. Artemis had to know that befriending those two would make it easier to get to him. He doubtfully even cared about the bullying. </span>
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<p>
  <span>“You’re right,” Harry said after a moment. “But I’m not going to go back on this tutoring thing. Like Ron said, this’ll give me the perfect opportunity to spy on Artemis, and anyone else he tells me about.”</span>
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<p>
  <span>Hermione sighed. “Alright, Harry, but just remember, he’s going to be doing the same exact thing as you. Don’t give him anything he can use.”</span>
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<p>
  <span>“I won’t ‘mione,” Harry said, but he felt nervous all the same. If deception was a game of chess, he was an amateur and Artemis was a master.</span>
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</p>
<p>
  <span>—</span>
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</p>
<p>
  <span>Holly Short was about to crawl into bed when her communicator received a transmission. She grumbled and groaned as she dragged her feet to her dresser where she had left it sitting, then stopped abruptly as she saw the call was coming from neither a rude co-worker nor a telemarketer, but from Artemis. Still, the fact that it was so late made her puff herself up, ready to give her human friend a good, long berating. She picked up her communicator and answered Artemis’s call.</span>
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</p>
<p>
  <span>“Artemis, do you have any idea what time it is?” She said in place of a greeting.</span>
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  <span>“The same time it is here, I imagine,” Artemis replied, sounding amused. “I had to wait to test my omnisensor until the rest of my housemates were asleep. Can’t have them knowing about my fairy connections, can I?”</span>
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</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, fine, I suppose that’s a fair enough reason. And now we know that it works! That’s all then?” She said.</span>
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</p>
<p>
  <span>“Holly, I know it’s late, but have a little patience. I have some news since I wrote to you.”</span>
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  <span>Holly sighed and sat on the edge of her bed. “Alright, let’s hear it.”</span>
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</p>
<p>
  <span>“I convinced Harry Potter to tutor me,” Artemis said. Holly couldn’t help the amused snort she let out at the idea of Artemis needing tutoring.</span>
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</p>
<p>
  <span>“That ‘Boy Who Lived’ kid? The one that doesn’t like you? How did you manage to do that?”</span>
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</p>
<p>
  <span>“I may have mentioned that I am not on good terms with the rest of Slytherin house and offered a little tutoring of my own,” Artemis explained.</span>
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</p>
<p>
  <span>“So you’re letting him believe that he can use you to learn about that Draco Malfoy boy.”</span>
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</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t see any harm in telling Harry what I know. Draco is hardly an ally of mine, and the more forthcoming I am with information the more willing Harry will be to share with me as well.” Artemis said.</span>
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</p>
<p>
  <span>“Devious as always, Fowl,” Holly smiled. “How are your classes?”</span>
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</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, I already received a detention…” Artemis said sheepishly. “But it did facilitate my meeting with Harry.”</span>
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</p>
<p>
  <span>“Getting into trouble already? Why am I not surprised?” Holly responded.</span>
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</p>
<p>
  <span>“The way some of these professors teach is completely irresponsible,” Artemis snapped, and Holly had to cover her mouth to stop from laughing out loud at his intensity. “How they haven’t been fired and replaced with someone more competent is beyond me.”</span>
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<p>
  <span>“You didn’t actually say that, did you?” Holly asked.</span>
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</p>
<p>
  <span>Artemis was silent for a moment. “…More or less.”</span>
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</p>
<p>
  <span>Holly tsk’d. “Charming as ever, Artemis.”</span>
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</p>
<p>
  <span>Artemis cleared his throat awkwardly. “Did you ask Foaly about those magical batteries like I asked?”</span>
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</p>
<p>
  <span>“I did. He wrote you a long explanation back, all in English, and complained about it the entire time. It should be arriving soon, I imagine.”</span>
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</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m sure some of it made it onto the page itself, too,” Artemis said. “And how has progress gone on his magic sensor?”</span>
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</p>
<p>
  <span>“From what I understand? It’s going well. I think the next step will be to have you perform those protection spells for him so the sensor will become attuned to them, so there isn’t much else to do until we see you next.”</span>
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</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ll do my best to have them learned in time for the winter holidays then,” Artemis said.</span>
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</p>
<p>
  <span>“Only your best, Artemis?” Holly said with a wry smile.</span>
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<p>
  <span>“As we both know, my best is good enough. Better than, even.” Artemis replied, and though Holly couldn’t see him, she imagined he was smiling as well.</span>
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</p>
<p>
  <span>“We should probably both get to bed, Mud Boy,” Holly said after a moment. “Before someone catches you up past your bedtime.”</span>
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</p>
<p>
  <span>“There’s nothing in the rules that says I can’t be in my common room after curfew, Captain Short. But you’re right. I should go before one of the other sixth-year boys wakes up and finds me missing. No doubt they would love to investigate that.”</span>
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</p>
<p>
  <span>“Goodbye, Artemis. I suppose we’ll talk again soon?”</span>
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</p>
<p>
  <span>“As soon as is reasonable. Goodbye, Holly.” Artemis said, and with that the transmission ended. Holly set her communicator on her bedside table, then turned and lay down to sleep.</span>
</p>
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